Friday, July 27, 2012

At first glance it looked wicked!

I was cruising through Pintrest again last night... I know, yet another bad habit... but I glanced at this... and wow, can you imagine what I thought it was?  I thought it was mean and wicked... as it turns out it's a necklace.  If you'd like to learn more about it, you can click here.  It really doesn't tell much about the necklace, more about the guy who made it who died earlier this year.

Anyway.... I saw it and thought of all of you... just thought I'd share! ;o)

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!xx

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

What is Domestic Disipline... and what is it not

My fellow blogger Grace at Enjoying the Journey is looking for everyone's opinion on what Dd is and what its not.  She was looking around the web for a definition and couldn't find one that she agreed with completely... so she is wanting everyone to give their two cents worth so she can put a definition together that she agrees with.  She suggested either leaving a comment on her blog or write a post, if we are so lead.  Well, I was looking for a subject to write on and this one is a good one!  Thank you Grace!!

By the way.... this is just my opinion and the opinion of my family.  I don't expect everyone to agree with me, as I know there are going to be people, usually anonymous, who don't agree.  If you'd like to leave a comment, I'll publish it as long as it is respectful...

What is Dd to me...
First of all, Dd, Domestic Discipline has to be an agreement on both sides.  Ideally an agreement, on paper, should be written out and agreed upon.  Love and respect should be the center of not only the marriage but the Dd agreement.

You might notice that I use Dd as opposed DD.  Last year sometime, Sara at Finding Sara pointed it out on her blog, that she uses Dd, the capital letter stands for her husband, or HOH.  The small letter stands for herself, lower case, submissive.  I liked that, and so I have used it ever since.  Now that is not to be confused with one being more important and one being less important.  In a healthy Dd relationship, the HOH has the important job to guide the family and that includes his mate.... but the submissive wife also has a very important job... to submit and be guideable.

The HOH has more jobs than to just be "the boss".  He is the protector of the family, keeping everyone safe.  Sometimes that means keeping us safe from ourselves.  That is where "rules" originate.  I don't really see them as rules.... I see them as guidelines so that we stay safe.  IMHO....there are times when the HOH has to correct his submissive wife.  It doesn't always have to be spanking.... I'd like to think that a compassionate will give a warning.  If the warning doesn't produce the correct response, there are other forms of punishment.  Some have their wife write a letter of apology or acknowledgement of the offence.  I have heard that there are some who, when the offence is produced by the mouth, use soap in the mouth.  Some use corner time... and yes, some spank their submissive wife.   There are no set rules, so there are as many ways to practice Dd as there are couples who practice Dd.

The submissive wife is not to be a slave to the HOH.  She, in our home, is to take care of the family, the home and the HOH.  She is not expected to be perfect.  She is, however, expected to have a good attitude, and to try her best to follow the guidelines, which is also to respond correctly to her HOH.  That is not to say that she isn't going to have bad days... we aren't perfect, we are human!

We are all human.... HOH and submissive wife alike.  Inconsistency from our HOH a subject that many talk about.  So many of us have blogged about wanting our HOH to be more consistent and I'm sure that if more men blogged, they might complain about the same thing about us.  It's just a thought... I'm just saying....

Dd is also a lot of work... required by all!!

What Dd is not....

Dd is not abusive!  Dd is not unkind!  Dd is not unrealistic!  Dd is not slave ownership!  Dd does not condone rape!  Dd is not disrespectful!

Wow.... I guess that is all I have for now!  I had a really good time thinking of how I think Dd should go... but again, there are as many ways to practice Dd as there are couples.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Family Rules

I found this sign on Pintrest today.... it hit so close to home for us!  Not only as a couple do we follow these rules, but we teach our children these same rules.  It's so sad that no everybody does.  I wonder what this world would be like if we took this sign to heart.  The only thing that I really wish that is also said was to believe in Jesus Christ and live for him.  Other than that... perfect.

Down there toward the bottom of the sign it says "take a moment to breathe"... that is the second time I have read that today.  I was lurking around and came across morningstar at The Journey, she is struggling but is remembering to breathe.  That is something that we all forget to do every so often.

I am sitting here trying to figure out which is the most important.... and I think they are all just as important as the rest.  I do have to say though that my now 9yo daughter is working on the "don't whine" and my almost 14yo son is trying hard to "be grateful" (or should I say we are trying to teach it to him! lol)  I'm trying to teach S to "Laugh out Loud" without much success, I have to admit.

My own person struggle is "be silly"... seems things have been so serious lately, trying to figure out some things coming up this fall.... trying to anticipate and adjust for what might come that I forget to enjoy what is here and now at times!  Things will get better but for now a bit stressy.... my own new word! ;o)

Maybe I need a spanking to remind me to be silly! lol

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Oh, I am so so pissed off!

Oh, I can't believe how mad I am right now.  I'm really not a person who gets that mad that fast... or that often as far as that goes.  I guess I'm not used to this emotion.  I don't do well with it.  Externally it looks like I shut down... I don't usually say anything in the moment because I have learned in my life that I don't like to burn bridges.  If I'm going to, I want to make darn sure that I have thought the situation through and that that is what is needed.

My blood is boiling... I am feeling completely unappreciated, taken for granted and my knee jerk reaction is to burn that bridge.  No, S is not the poor soul who could possibly receive my bite with a side of venom.  He is very patiently listening to my ranting and raving.  I don't know if you remember but I asked him to keep me accountable as far as my language is concerned.  I don't know if I will get a pardon tonight or not but my words were flying out of my mouth as if a professional sailor.  My guess is that, if the kids weren't just outside and could come in at any moment, he would probably have taken me in our room and calmed me down... the way only a man who loves a woman can with her over his knee.... yeah, that would have been effective too!

Ok, I have a client... and after being generous and kind to this couple for several years, I had to start charging a bit extra for extra services.  Last week I worked extra for them... twice... and we had negotiated that I would receive $20 for this extra service... so that meant $40 extra for last week.  Well... for one of those days they were a bit snide about the extra cost... and sarcastically I said that if it was that big of a deal not to pay me the extra.  I thought nothing more about it till today... he paid me and mentioned that even though I told him not to worry about it, he was going to split the difference with me and paid me $10 for the extra work.

Now, I know what your probably thinking... I told him not to worry about it... I know.  S sat back... after letting me rant for nearly a half hour...and even agreeing with me... he said something like 'so this is over $10?'

Wow... how a person who is sitting outside of the forest can see the trees so much better than those of us in the forest with a blindfold on!! What that meant to me, once my head quit spinning around and green crap quit spewing out everywhere, was that I was this mad over $10.  How insane was that... and once I was able to get a handle on myself, I was able to realize just exactly how much I needed to calm down and figure out if I was willing to burn this bridge over $10.  Probably not.  But man I'd like to!! ;o)

I have learned not to say that they can pay whether they want to or not... because it is a big deal.

S is so good... he is so patient... so understanding... I love him so much.... hhmmm.... I wonder how his follow through will be tonight... I'll have to let you know! ;o)

P.S.  Thank you for listening... I feel better now! xx

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

I don't know how many that read this watched Americas Got Talent tonight.... Did you see All Beef Patty? OMG... He/she is larger than life....literally.... but can sing like nobodies business!  The costume looked like Cyndi Lauper.... but the singing was way better in my humble opinion.

Anyway... read the sign... that is me all over!! ;o)

I might even like it better than a spanking! *giggling*

Just had to share! LOL xx

Sunday, July 15, 2012


I am so glad I decided to come back and start blogging again... I am so inspired by all of you who are walking down this same path of ttwd.  Honestly, sometimes, I'm thinking it's all in the mindset.   I have to keep reminding myself of the things that I would like my S to guide me through and the more seriously I take it, the more real that I make it in my life, the sweeter our life really is.  My husband enjoys our life when we are practicing Dd... he might not be comfortable with the "punishment" part yet, but I believe that will all come in time.

You know, I was thinking the other night, and it totally dawned on me.  I have asked my husband to hold me accountable for different aspects in our daily life.  This isn't something that he is horrified by nor does he think it's stupid or any other negative thoughts about it.  But as uncomfortable as it was for me to go to him and ask to be guided through our married life... how un-nerving it must be to be expected to "preform", never really having done such a task.  Not that he is unwilling to stand up and meet the challenge that I have asked of him, but this being all new...  My HOH likes the idea that he is my hero... I love that I think of him as my hero as well.... but that also puts some pressure on them to "preform" like a "hero" and do what they do ever so perfectly.  I'm not looking for perfection, just to know that I'm very much loved and that he has the steering wheel.

As I was contemplating our life as we are easing ourselves back into ttwd.  I realized that I was really trying hard to keep the mindset even when we weren't practicing... but I did notice that sometimes I'd get angry and not really care what was coming out of my mouth aimed right toward him.  I don't think he is missing that...LOL

Anyway... I haven't had a "punishment" as yet... since we have been back to giving this another go of it.  I'm trying not to rush things.  I look back and realize that I used to "compare" our relationship with other blogs that I was reading and I see how unfair I was being to both of us.  This is our path, and it's going to look different than others.  Hindsight is so 20/20.  That is not that I haven't been getting a few spankings here and there.  During our intimate play time he has been spanking me.  Not horribly hard... way enough to get my attention and puts in my mind that he is willing to be the boss..... making me want to submit to him that much more!  I just melt like butter when his hand is on my behind! ;o)

So it came to me that what better way for him to "practice" this spanking thing than when we are playing.  I was thinking that when Blondie commented that she and her husband were actually playing the spanking scene before Dd.... so he had already become comfortable with "preforming", but she says that he still had a problem when it came to "punishment" spanks.  That is so nice to know!!!

Patience.... this is what it all seems to boil down to.  Being patient with ourselves.... him with him and me with me.... but then also patience with each other.

On a different note... to the anonymous who insists on being a jerk... screw you... get your own blog...  you may not be impressed my us "submissive" women.... but I really don't care... take it up with your shrink and write your own journal... this is mine and you won't get another second of my time or thoughts!

To everyone else... have a great day!! xxx

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

We might be making so progress....

The other night I wrote my S a fairly long note telling him that I'd like to work our way back to practicing Dd once again.  Not only did I write my letter to him but I also borrowed a letter that Mick wrote (BTW, thanks Mick!)  for several ladies that wanted him to write a letter to their husbands explaining why they needed to live in this life that we are craving so badly.  In this letter I told him that I needed his guidance and that I needed him to keep me accountable in several different aspects of my/our life.  Mind you, most people think I have it pretty well all together.  I have been running an in-home business for nearly 15 years, S and I have been together for nearly 17 years.... we have 2 kids that most think are pretty great (not perfect, but great! ;o))  Blah, blah, blah.... we have a good life.  I am the one that makes it look like it runs like a well oiled machine.  There are just a few personal things I'd like to have help working on.

S came to me yesterday morning and told me that he would be willing to work on this lifestyle that I'm asking for... but it's a mind thing that is his hurdle at the present.  Actually that was his hurdle when we attempting it before.  He doesn't like the idea of hurting me.  I totally get that.... I don't really want him to hurt me either!lol It finally came to me last night after a bit of play...  I'm one of those women who, during the day, are very dominant, take the bull by the horns, delegating, in charge of every little detail in my day type of person.  If it needs to get done, it gets done and I'm usually the person to do it.  At night, after the work day is over, I need to not be the "boss".   I need to have someone to make me accountable to, someone else be the boss, so to speak.

I need help making sure that I exercise daily.  It's so easy to, after working hard all day, cooking supper for the family to collapse into a heap and call it a day... I need to make it important to get up and walk for like 30 min. after dinner and then collapse!  I've been meaning to... know I need to... but it doesn't get done.  I also need help making sure that I make a menu out for our dinners in our home.  I don't want to meticulously plan 7 course meals every day.... but I'd like to at least make out a weekly plan as to what the main dish will be, then I can figure out the sides on the fly.  I feel that if I had a plan that it would not only take stress off my day because I can just take care of dinner instead of having to figure out what to have.  It would also keep us from eating out as much... which isn't great for our health or our wallet!

I'd also like to have an incentive to clean up my mouth.  I think that the person that sat down and decided that there were "bad" words, and what they were, should be taken out and shot... but that is a story for another time.   Anyway, I'd like to have an incentive not to use the curse words that just slip out every once in a while...    Oh, and I also need for him to curb my bad habit of volunteering (me/us) for stuff without getting his ok first.  He was VERY ok with this one!

One other thing that I'd like him to make sure that I do is make sure to take a shower every evening before going to bed.  I know this sounds so stupid... I know I'm grown and that I should be able to do this on my own... but don't we all get a little lazy sometimes and would rather just collapse into bed at the end of a hectic day instead of taking that few extra minutes to take a shower.  Yes, I could just take my shower in the morning but....unless it's something spontaneous, I don't enjoy being intimate unless I'm freshly showered.  This means that if I'm too lazy to take a shower... then I'm sending him a signal to stay on his side of the bed. I don't want to do that anymore.  I want him to not only be the king of his castle, but also the king of his bed.  If he decides to come over to my side, I want him to feel like he can.  Don't get me wrong.... I can still say "no"... I'm not giving up any rights.... I just want to be available to my husband if he is needing a bit of TLC.

Not such a horrible list, right?  I'm willing to be able to go to him and tell him if I have I've slipped and it's his right to what he thinks is fair.  I even gave him a list of possible punishments that aren't necessarily "painful" but would definitely get the point across!

I'll keep everyone posted....sorry this ended up so long.....