Ever feel like you just need a spanking? I know you have... I've read about the times when the HOH was supposed to give a spanking and then doesn't. Sucks. I'm feeling a bit snippy. I'm not feeling kept. I'm feeling like I have to do all the things that is required of me, but not getting any of the little perks. Maybe I need a nap. There is too much to do for me to be able to take a nap.
I'm the manager of our house.... not the Boss. Maybe I should send the Boss a memo that all employees need to be taken in hand. Again... like so many of you.... don't want to tell him how to do his job... So how do you get what you need without telling him how to do his job.
He blames the kids. No it's not their fault... he says they are around and might hear. Doesn't seem to feel the need to find some sort of alternative. I have a wonderful imagination and have read so many blogs that I have some wonderful ideas on how and where.
I was supposed to get a maintenance on Monday... this is Thursday... I even mentioned it Sunday and he was glad that I had reminded him because he had forgotten. Monday came.... he didn't want to use the only quiet implement that we have because he said I don't like it... am I stupid or is that kinda the point?? Just feeling a bit jipped.
He is yet another HOH who doesn't read blogs... I'm thinking that I need to introduce him. Not sure that is such a wonderful idea. :o) I know I need to be careful what I ask for, I just might get it!!
I love my S. I love him more than anything in this world. I'm looking forward to struggling through the empty nest thing together. I'm looking forward to growing older and wiser together. I know this is just a little bump in the road... and that I need to enjoy the process. I do, most of the time. I would say even like 99.4% of the time I couldn't be happier... or more content with my life with my man. I'm just feeling a bit glitchy today.
Do any of you have any suggestions as to how to get a bit of privacy, or maybe an implement that is quiet but yet gets the job done. What are your thoughts....
I know you won't like my saying so, but the birch switch is quiet and very effective. As a bonus it can act as a nice decoration, particularly if you use a good ribbon for it. (In a private area, that is!)
ReplyDeleteBut, probably what you really need is a space to take action where you can go without the kids. Depending on where you live you could try one of the public play spaces. I know that it is quite intimidating to think of others watching, but you might be able to pick a time when the traffic is light or even when you could get the area to yourself.
Short of that, if you can connect with other couples, you might be able to trade baby sitting duties.
And, depending on your budget, you can sometimes find bed and breakfast or other areas with separate buildings that allow you quite a bit of privacy.
It just depends on your willingness to be inventive and take reasonable risks.
You're just going to have to tell him how you feel, and what you think need. There's no other way. In our 1st 2 yrs of Dd I read (and edited) and sent many articles and helpful posts, etc, to my husband to read. How else was he going to learn?
ReplyDeleteAs for quiet, you have to get creative. Smaller whippier implements are quieter, but hurt more. We have a solid wood hairbrush that does not make much noise, and also a drum brush...like a drum stick but not. Google it. Little sound, quite effective. Some people use dowel rods, like from Home Depot. Good luck! Sara
I agree with Sara, you have to tell him. I know it's hard, but it does get easier over time.
ReplyDeleteFor privacy, you might consider going to a motel for an evening; even a couple of hours as part of date night. Some people have big walk-in closets (lucky so and so's) that seem to provide some sound-proofing and privacy.
Quiet implements: leather shoelaces, loopy Johnny, anything thin, light and flexible. Yes, they hurt a lot more, but he can go easy on you and see what it feels like.
Good luck!
Hermione
@Rich Person... Yeah, your right... don't know that I want the Birch switch. You know... I really hadn't thought about an outside gig. Interesting! Thank you for the thought! That might definitely work.
ReplyDelete@Sara... You are so right...and I know (even knew it when I wrote this post, but a person writes what she's feeling) that I need to educate S... and I definitely plan to do that. I read a blog by sugarsweethoney21, she and hers had recently gotten a hairbrush, she said it made virtually no sound. I'm bidding on one from ebay as we speak! ;o) Thanks for all your wonderful advice! Your a gem! *hugs*
We have a shed..do you have an out building? Also, I don't want to recommend a coat hanger...it's quiet but YOU won't be.
ReplyDelete@Stormy.. Yeah, I think your right about the hanger... I've never had it used on me, but it didn't look like something I'd like to have used on me in Mommy Dearest! ;o)
ReplyDeleteWe do have a garage... unattached from the house. HHmmmm.... that might work. It would definitely be a good reason to clean out the shop!
Hi, Mikki,
ReplyDeleteWhere there's a will, there's a way! Not sure how old your kids are, or whether they have friends nearby, that you can have round one day to give their parents a break, and they can reciprocate another day of the week for you to have some privacy...or, are there clubs they could attend? Gym classes, soccer, etc? Or sit them in front of the TV , make it once a week so its a special treat, and make it like going to a movie, with soda, popcorn, dimmed lights, etc, (sound up nice and loud!!) then tell them you are going to "drop them off at the movies" and do some jobs around the house while they watch the show!!!
Whoop whoop, lock yourselves in your room and maintenance here we come!
Failing that, could you drive them to an aunt/grandparent once a week for a visit, and ask if its ok that you and S go do a little shopping while they watch the darlings??! Then find a secluded spot for a car spanking, or go for a walk in a park and find some privacy in the woods?
Organise a treasure hunt in the garden that will keep them busy searching for a while, meanwhile you are in the house finding the hairbrush....(oh, is THAT it, bouncing off your butt?)
Have a "fill a matchbox competition, to see who can fill it with the widest variety of things...a pin, a paperclip, a hair, a pebble...etc.
Basically, if you think of things to engross your children, it gives you breathing space to occupy yourselves too! (maybe in that garage!!)
@daisychain... I'm so glad you found my blog! I enjoyed all your comments! ;o) Thanks for stopping by!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think we are gonna clean the garage... it' seems to be the best thought. My kids are 8 and 13. The 13 yo is very noisy!! LOL I'm thinking we are going to use the garage and meet out there after showers and after the kids go to bed. S still freaks out about leaving the kids in the house unattended, but it's just one of those things where I have to get dad caught up, they don't have to be "watched" when they are sleeping! LOL The garage is 20' from the house and really.. how long does it take to give a girl a few swats to make sure she knows your the boss!!*giggling*
Again... thanks to everyone for all your caring comments!
One other thing that can help is remodeling. Well, I know that can be expensive and I have no idea what your budget is, but I would look into techniques used for home theater rooms. These use special building techniques that create a sound barrier. While this might not stop all sound, it can lessen the sounds produced by a spanking. You don't have to remodel to use some of these techniques, either. Just understanding them can help contain your activities to an appropriate area.
ReplyDeleteAnd, you might want to consider that garages have thin walls, which may make you vulnerable to being overheard by the neighbors.
I would also test (when you have time off from the kids) exactly how loud some of your current sessions are. You might need to put a recording device in various rooms and then go to town. Afterward, you can get some idea of how much sound is leaking through. (For comparison, you might have him go in the bedroom, shut the door and provide various levels of sound to see when you can hear them and then compare that with what's on the recorder.)
This is the scientific method at work for you....
We definitely had to scale down activities when my (former) girlfriend's kids were at home. It's a drag. But, with care, you can still enjoy a healthy relationship with your S.O. and the kids need never be the wiser.
Rich Person... I have to a huge thank you for all the thought you have put into our plight! Very kind of you! I know that the garage has thin walls, but the nearest neighbor is a half mile away... if he spanks me that hard and loud, he'd better be backing off! LOL Thanks again for all your help!
ReplyDelete