I think we are all always looking for a new turn on... a new fix...a new something that arouses us the way we haven't before! When you are married for 15 years in a ho-hum life and all of a sudden have found the answers to prayers.... it's all a turn on! A lot of times you see, hear or smell something that is totally non sexual and it turn you on beyond any reason!!
Yesterday a friend emailed me and asked if I had a certain movie in our collection of DVD so I got the case out and browsed. After seeing that I didn't have it, I set it on the floor beside me to put away later. S looked up from his work and said "put it away..now"... to most that seems a mundane sentence and it might not mean anything more than face value... but to me it spoke volumes!!!
First, I'm not one that leaves things laying around, so he wasn't concerned that I was cluttering up the house.
Second, he doesn't concern himself with how the house looks so why would he start with this pack of movies?
He was flexing his HOH muscle... at least that is how I took it. It's quite a turn on for me... coming from a man who, in the past, has not been the guy even remotely attached to domestic stuff... that would be me included.
He was guiding me... he was seeing just how serious I was about 24/7 D/d... I am very serious, so I smiled at him, a knowing smile.... he kinda raised his eyebrow as if it say "Well?.." I got up.. put the case away, not a word was said. I had warm little butterflies... and I honestly think that was a very important point where I could have built or broke his confidence. I try to make sure that I ask him his permission/opinion on issues that I think he might want to be included in. He doesn't micromanage me and my time. If he happens to be there when something comes up, I'll ask his opinion... I never did before. I never asked because he always answered "I don't care"... so I quit asking. So much has changed for us since we started ttwd... both in and out of the bedroom!
I have come to realize that I really don't like spankings, not the punishment ones anyway. I will submit to them, but won't be doing anything to ask for one on purpose anyway. I have always done a decent job of keeping the house livable... not perfect, but I find myself trying to do a better job. This is one of the reasons that I needed ttwd... to be accountable...
I do so love him... and I'm so glad he's stepping up and being the man that I so crave so that I can be the woman that he so needs.
It's a process... sometimes not a very fast process... but I think we're going in the right direction! :o)
Awesome Mikki! And I know what you mean about something simple, that probably wouldn't mean anything to someone else, suddenly having so much behind it. I don't like punishment spankings either, but it seems like at some point during the week I do something to earn one. I hope that changes when we've been at this a bit longer! But like you said, at least we're headed in the right direction! ;)
ReplyDeleteYup. I don't quite get it either, but those little acts of dominance are a total turn on. I get the same little butterflies and do sometimes toy with him a bit...but I have to be careful. There's those couple of fun swats in the living room and there's crossing the line and being sent upstairs. Don't like that one at all.
ReplyDeleteI wonder of they realize how much those little acts of dominance actually help in strengthening our submission?
ReplyDeleteTo me it's those little things, and also lots of encouragement and praise, that make me want to please him more often.
I'm happy things are going so well, Mikki. :-)
Grace... I'm so glad that I'm not alone... sometimes I feel crazy with some of the things that come to my mind in ttwd! ;o)
ReplyDeleteYou know... I know why it's easier the further down the road we go... I think for one thing I'm way less nervous, therefore I don't screw up just because of nerves! Also.. I don't think that S is near is strict as some HOH's out there!
Susie... I do have to say that most generally if I come even close to crossing the line, it's usually because I have been joking around and go a bit far.. auugghh! Some guys just don't have much of a sense of humor! *wink*
stumblingchi... sometimes I think S knows the power he has in these little acts of dominance
ReplyDelete... but I think he forgets or he wouldn't play it the way he does sometimes!
The encouraging words do come when I do something that just knocks his socks off, something out of the ordinary... but ordinary stuff... the mundane, that gets forgotten sometimes... that's when it's hard to be submissive.
It's easy to be submissive when it's going the way we want it to. Here is the hard part.. isn't the bumpy times when we are truly submissive, when is's not quite so easy.
I don't like this part either.. I'm just putting it out there... as a matter of fact, it sucks!! ;o)
Hi Mikki,
ReplyDeleteI love how your husband told you what to do with such confidence. It's a turn on when Daddy tells me what to do, too. It wouldn't be if he was constantly micromanaging everything I did, but he rarely gets involved in the mundane details of the home so when he does tell me something it's very nice and makes me feel like he's noticing what I do.
Kitty
Those little acts of dominance - yesss. They make me say to him, "bossy man", kind of teasingly. Because lots of people would hear it as a negative, but for me it's such a postive thing from him.
ReplyDeleteI'm complicated. I have a very dominant man- he's always been that way, even before dd. He's also always been the boss..I just fought it every step of the way. That said, his acts of dominance sometimes get my motor going but are just as likely to make me feel rebellious...I never know.
ReplyDeleteActual warnings about spanking make me see red! I get so fired up..I often trigger it happening. Makes no sense.
My favorite thing is when there are no words..just taking me and kissing me hard or pulling me up against his body. He wll step in front of me if I leave a room without a quick kiss or hug. We are very affectionate..hug and touch constantly. So he expects it and will block my way if he doesn't get it. I think it's sexy..love it most of the time..lol.
It's true..when you first start ttwd there is an electrical charge in the air and everything you do feels different.
Stormy