Update on last night's spanking...

"Are you reading your email?" It took all the power I had in myself to ask him.

"Yeah, " nothing more said


"Oh, ok... good" Dang... there's no looking back now... I thought about going to his email and deleting my message to him.

The rest of the evening was quiet... I tucked the kids in... had a nice quiet evening of watching TV and reading blogs... waiting for S to take me to the other room to spank as I had requested.

9:30pm came... a half hour or so earlier than usual...I couldn't take it any longer... I was ready for this spanking to be done and over.

"I'm ready to head to bed... how about you?" After taking a deep breath... ready for the worst.

"Oh, ok... I'm good with that" 

Disappointed... relieved... angry... elated... neglected.... forgiven.... all these went through my head in the few minutes that it took me to shut everything off and lock the doors.  We went to bed... I didn't know if I wanted to make love... but it wasn't my call.. and I'm ok with that.  I had been angry earlier in the day at S.  This very rarely happens.  He asked me if I was mad at him and I lied... said no, I wan't mad.  I decided to take out all my frustration out on him... we made mad, passionate love, he definitely knows how to bring me back to where I need to be.

Laying there, hot and sweaty... holding each other... I knew what I had to do.

"I lied to you today"  No words harder to say...

"What??  When?  Why?"...


"I'm sorry...earlier today when you asked me if I was mad at you... I said no... I really was."

"Oh..." silence.


"I'm not telling you this so that you fix what I was mad at... I don't want to tell you what to do.... that's not why I am telling you.  I'm telling you because I don't want to have a lie between us.  I'm sorry... I love you".. wincing... not knowing what was to come.  I guess I told for a couple of reasons... first... full disclosure.  Second... maybe to jump start what was supposed to happen earlier.

"Oh, well that's ok, I love you too"  He held me tight, kissed my forehead, rolled over to turn off the light... signalling it was time to go to sleep... time for his short back scratch that he gets every night.  Instantly I was livid... twice in one night... Once I get... twice.. guess we really aren't doing ttwd... guess "we" aren't going to be consitant... guess... then it dawned on me...

"Did you check both of your emails?? "... aauugghhh.... yep, I forgot, he has 2... one school, one public.

"No, I only checked school, why, did you send me something??"  I'm not allowed to send hot stuff to school...he thinks they might monitor it...


"Yeah, I did"  growling at myself

"Cool... I'll get it tomorrow... thanks"


Are you freaking kidding me??  All those emotions... in such a small time frame.... aauuggghhhhh.  How could I be so stupid??  You know... I just realized I still have time to go delete that email still yet!!