I have been searching for the answer and believe we found it when I came across CDD. I love that my husband is man enough to step up and lead our family as God meant him to. For the first 15 years of our marriage I fought to control what was his to guide. This is diary of a woman who has been so blessed by giving up what she thought she had to fight for. The entire family has been blessed by my husband taking me in hand.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Happy Thanksgiving!!
Life is fixin' to get crazy... travel... family... shopping.... you know the deal. It's Thanksgiving!! We are gonna eat too much... play hard...eat more... shop till we drop... hug the necks of family that we don't see near enough.. eat some more...we are gonna have a good time!!
This will probably be my last post till next week, and I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell my Cyber family (you) how much I appreciate all of you!!! I have really been struggling lately with all of this wonderfulness they call LIFE and you are always there with a smile, a word or two of encouragement and a hug or five!! I just wanted to tell you all how very much if makes my day to know that you care!! We are all in this together and when we are struggling, it's so nice to know that there are people out there that care!!
I am thankful for all the wonderful things in my life that God has seen fit to bless me with...Even my grounded 13yo!!*giggling* I love my babies so much... I love my S who is looking better and better every day!! I have a roof over my head, good food in my belly, clothes on my back, and love in my heart.... Does life get any better than that??? Ok, so I wouldn't be opposed to someone giving me like a million dollars or something!! LOL
Anyway... I know that not all of my Cyber Family celebrates Thanksgiving... but I think we all need to take a minute or three to just be thankful for our blessings!! I'm thankful for all of you!!! (((((((hugs))))))))
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Just keepin' on keepin' on
Yes... I'm still here! We are still here...
An update on S's health.... he is doing fine... recuperating nicely. The incision is healing great and he is slowly but surely getting his full range of motion back. He probably won't ever be 100% but he'll get close! We make sure he doesn't over due and try to walk him regularly. That wasn't his only health issue that we have to deal with. Now he is finishing up on his other issue... and electrical issue of sorts. It's a waiting game.... I'm hoping we win, but waiting is so frustrating... the questions.. the wondering why.... I don't like waiting games. I'm not good at them... and nobody likes to suck at a game!
We are traveling for Thanksgiving and I'm sure that will be fun. A nice distraction. Family.. good food.... lots of laughing... Black Friday(or is it Brown Thursday now that some of the stores are starting on Thanksgiving Evening??) No time to be sad... or frustrated or anything like that. It's a time to be thankful what what we have! We have our health... our kids...our home... job... family... friends...we live in a country that offers us freedoms that not everyone has! I have so much to be thankful for!!
Still I'm a bit melancholy... maybe a bit sad. I had a dream last night that S died. One of those dreams that seem so real that your relieved to wake up. In this dream, he died but somehow was "there" and was helping to make the arrangements... comforting me... It was really weird. At the end, I had to tell him to get into the casket because he didn't really "get" that he had to leave. Dreams are so weird.
We are working toward getting back to "normal"... what ever that might be. We'll see. It's very hard being submissive to someone who doesn't demand it. I would, I have to admit, like him to be a bit more aggressive when it comes to Dd, I would like to have to answer to him, but he doesn't seem to feel the need to be answered to. It's been almost 2 weeks... I'm sure he will get back into the Dd mode, but I have decided that I'm not going to ask for it... prod him about it. I'm going to be his loving submissive wife.. doing for him what he needs to heal and wait. Wait for him to remember what he needs to do... where he needs to stand. He'll get it all figured out in his head... we'll talk... we'll love.
Maybe he'll read my blog... that would just be way easier!! I haven't posted much lately, so I may need to suggest he read here... I don't know, we'll see....
An update on S's health.... he is doing fine... recuperating nicely. The incision is healing great and he is slowly but surely getting his full range of motion back. He probably won't ever be 100% but he'll get close! We make sure he doesn't over due and try to walk him regularly. That wasn't his only health issue that we have to deal with. Now he is finishing up on his other issue... and electrical issue of sorts. It's a waiting game.... I'm hoping we win, but waiting is so frustrating... the questions.. the wondering why.... I don't like waiting games. I'm not good at them... and nobody likes to suck at a game!
We are traveling for Thanksgiving and I'm sure that will be fun. A nice distraction. Family.. good food.... lots of laughing... Black Friday(or is it Brown Thursday now that some of the stores are starting on Thanksgiving Evening??) No time to be sad... or frustrated or anything like that. It's a time to be thankful what what we have! We have our health... our kids...our home... job... family... friends...we live in a country that offers us freedoms that not everyone has! I have so much to be thankful for!!
Still I'm a bit melancholy... maybe a bit sad. I had a dream last night that S died. One of those dreams that seem so real that your relieved to wake up. In this dream, he died but somehow was "there" and was helping to make the arrangements... comforting me... It was really weird. At the end, I had to tell him to get into the casket because he didn't really "get" that he had to leave. Dreams are so weird.
We are working toward getting back to "normal"... what ever that might be. We'll see. It's very hard being submissive to someone who doesn't demand it. I would, I have to admit, like him to be a bit more aggressive when it comes to Dd, I would like to have to answer to him, but he doesn't seem to feel the need to be answered to. It's been almost 2 weeks... I'm sure he will get back into the Dd mode, but I have decided that I'm not going to ask for it... prod him about it. I'm going to be his loving submissive wife.. doing for him what he needs to heal and wait. Wait for him to remember what he needs to do... where he needs to stand. He'll get it all figured out in his head... we'll talk... we'll love.
Maybe he'll read my blog... that would just be way easier!! I haven't posted much lately, so I may need to suggest he read here... I don't know, we'll see....
Friday, November 18, 2011
How sweet is this...
I was feeling a bit down... probably feeling a bit sorry for myself as I'm frustrated about a few things going on here and there and yonder.... I haven't posted since Sunday because I either don't have time or I just don't have anything positive to say, and you know what they say about saying something nice!! ;)
Then I loged on for a minute to check my comments... to read a few blogs and there it was. Ms kitty over at http://kitty-sweetsurrender.blogspot.com/ commented and told me that she had given me the Versatile Blogger Award. Now at the time I had never heard of such a thing, but I knew it was sent by God because it made me smile and made me feel better than I had in a bit. It is so nice when you know that you actually "belong"... and I have to say how much I appreciate Kitty and all my new found friends in this community that we have!! Well, if I understand it correctly, this is a great way to share blogs that others might not know about.
Here are the rules:
1. Thank the award giver and link back to them on your post.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass this award along to 15 blogs you enjoy reading.
4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award.
Alright...here we go...
1. Kitty.... thank you so much for my award... your so sweet and I do have to say, your blog is so hot!
2. HHmmm... 7 things about me....
1. I'm usually done with my Christmas shopping by now but this year I have only barely started.
2. I'm known for miles for my brownies.
3. I love Mexican food... should have been born south of the boarder! ;)
4. I freakishly hate spiders...**shivers**
5. I love yard sales!!
6. I can't tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue like my friend kitty... but I can stick out my tongue at S when his head is turned! *giggling*
7. I love snuggling up in bed, sleeping late on Saturday morning... it doesn't happen often so I treasure it when it happens!!
Wow... that was hard... it's so hard coming up with 7 things about yourself and still keep your precious anonymity!! ;o)
3. Ok... here are 15 blogs that I love to read... I follow a lot more than that and enjoy all of them.... but here are 15 in no particular order!
1. Sara at http://findingsara.wordpress.com/ She is so wise... and entertaining! Love your blog!
2. Mick at http://husbandlytouch.blogspot.com Its so nice to hear how a loving HOH thinks! Thanks!
3. Christina at http://redbootywoman.blogspot.com You just never fail to tickle me!!
4. Dee over at http://dfordesire.blogspot.com/ I'm so enjoying getting to know you!!
5. Stormy at http://stormy-shelterinthestorm.blogspot.com/ Your writing moves so many... thank you!
6 Sky at http://adesiretoyield.blogspot.com Your sweet comments always make me smile!
7. PK at http://elisnewbeginnings.blogspot.com I'm so jealous of your empty nest syndrome!!
8. Susie at http://hermischiefmanaged.blogspot.com Your thoughts on Dd are spot on! ;o)
9. Lil over at http://submissivesanctuary.blogspot.com You make me look at things differently... thanks!
10. Daisychain at http://daisychainablazeagain.blogspot.com I can now say I have friends world wide! ;o)
11. Rouge at http://rougesawakening.blogspot.com Honey, you are always such a blessing!
12. Grace at http://michaelandgrace-enjoyingthejourney.blogspot.com I just love following your blog!
13. Faerie at http://faerielernstofly.blogspot.com/ I absolutely love your writing!
14. ComposingUs at http://composingus.blogspot.com I love your blog.. welcome to the community!
15. Kay at http://tryingtolearnlearningtotry.blogspot.com You always have such encouraging comments
I so enjoy all the blogs that I follow!! I know from my own point of view that we pour our souls out for others to read... we share... we laugh... we cry... and we just want someone to understand!! We have such a wonderful community here... I'm so thankful to have everyone in our community in my life!! ((hugs))
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Just checkin'' in...
I just thought I'd check in with my dear cyber family...
Anyway... I gotta go.... the crew is coming and the few minutes of down time is gone. Pray for continued healing for S... Parents are leaving tomorrow, back to work, kids back to school... I'm ready for things to get back to normal...
My parents have been here since early Tuesday... it's been a bit rough. My mom tries really hard to be respectful of boundaries... she really does try hard to help. Dad on the other hand drives me crazy. He is ... well.. never mind. I love him but sometimes he's just not very nice.
S had his surgery Thursday and is doing quite well. He no longer has the symptoms that brought him to surgery, now he has to nurse his incision. I am working at keeping him on pain meds regularly... I think that a person who isn't in pain heals faster... that's what I'm going for!! I just know that a well medicated man is way less grumpy! LOL
It's been a long hard weekend... even though we haven't really done anything... just healing the injured... cooking for the crew... laundry as needed... a little shopping to walk my ole man. The weather has been blustery but warm, it's so nice to have to doors open and let the kids play... running in and out... putting laughter in a room where there was none prior to their entering. Mom and I have enjoyed visiting... S kinda gimps in and out of different rooms trying to find comfort and feel included in life. Bless his heart... he is getting better... slowly but surly!!
Yesterday we were at the farm and home store... walking the man... just browsing at guy stuff. I got a few steps ahead of him and all of a sudden...WHAP... a sting on my behind sent wonderful shivers up my spine... I turned around and there stands my S holding a riding crop, with a huge grin on his face. To add to the story... he was standing next to my mom!! He had a very ornery smile on his face.... one I haven't had the privilege of seeing for quite some time. Made me giddy!!
Anyway... I gotta go.... the crew is coming and the few minutes of down time is gone. Pray for continued healing for S... Parents are leaving tomorrow, back to work, kids back to school... I'm ready for things to get back to normal...
I've missed you all!!!xxx
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Happy Love Our Lurkers Day!!!!!!
This is my first Love Our Lurkers post. Every November 10 is the day we celebrate all of the people who come onto our pages and read our posts.... we love you!! We know you are there... no, we can't see you (yet) but most of us have counters on our blogs... and we know you are there!! I know because at this writing I have like 42 followers... I've posted like 40 posts... and in the last 4+ months that I've been posting, I've gotten over 12,000 hits on my little page on the Internet!! Woo Hoo!! I would have never thought that I could have ever gotten anybody to read my words... and it just amazes me that all of you have read it.... All I can say is
Thank you all!!! (((((HUGS)))))
Now... I'd like to speak to my lurkers... I would never ever compel anyone who doesn't want to comment on my page to do so... but we bloggers really do love comments... the nice ones, the respectful ones!! I don't even expect everyone to agree with me in everything I have to say.. just be respectful.. ok... but I have to say that I REALLY like the nice ones!! LOL
I'm still waiting for one lurker in particular to post here... he is very sexy... is wonderful at EVERYTHING he does and I am very much in love with him... I'm hoping he knows who I'm talking about.
Happy Love our Lurkers Day xxxx
Sunday, November 6, 2011
I think I'm gonna get lucky tonight! ;o)
Oh, it seems like it's been so long!! We used to go a month or so without being intimate... since ttwd, we have been together nearly every night..... till last week. S has been hurting, I understand...am not unsympathetic to his plight. I haven't bugged him... I've even taken it upon myself to take care of business when need be with our friend Buzzy.
It's just not the same. Oh sure, orgasms are a wonderful thing, and we all need them... but it's the intimacy that I'm craving. His touch... his breath on my skin... the smell of his body... his manhood...
He is so close to being fixed that it's driving him crazy... I totally get that.
Today has been a good day considering that that we have been cleaning house like a mad dog getting ready for my parents. They will be here early this week... not really sure when they will go home... but you know... you gotta clean house before the parents come... gotta make 'em proud! Gotta make it sparkle! Trying to get things in a way that they won't have to do anything but love our kids.
Anyway... we have had a great weekend even though we've been working... S has been gently helping... guiding... making sure to be there just in case my head starts popping off... screaming has been a past down fall of mine when these children of mine should be doing what they are told to do. He guided all of us... and did a great job.
I'm off to take a well deserved shower... clean myself up... he already has. I have high hopes for tonight... he seems to be feeling pretty good... crossing fingers... praying....
It's just not the same. Oh sure, orgasms are a wonderful thing, and we all need them... but it's the intimacy that I'm craving. His touch... his breath on my skin... the smell of his body... his manhood...
He is so close to being fixed that it's driving him crazy... I totally get that.
Today has been a good day considering that that we have been cleaning house like a mad dog getting ready for my parents. They will be here early this week... not really sure when they will go home... but you know... you gotta clean house before the parents come... gotta make 'em proud! Gotta make it sparkle! Trying to get things in a way that they won't have to do anything but love our kids.
Anyway... we have had a great weekend even though we've been working... S has been gently helping... guiding... making sure to be there just in case my head starts popping off... screaming has been a past down fall of mine when these children of mine should be doing what they are told to do. He guided all of us... and did a great job.
I'm off to take a well deserved shower... clean myself up... he already has. I have high hopes for tonight... he seems to be feeling pretty good... crossing fingers... praying....
Thursday, November 3, 2011
The Good, The Bad and the Ugly
The Good... S it gonna be fixed next week!! Glory Be!! I'm so excited I'm a bout to jump out of my skin... I really try not to complain about his health issues because I know it's one of those things that it hurts him more than it does me. So... late next week we are gonna have him "fixed" and hopefully this is the last time that this awful problem rears it's nasty face!!
More good is that my parents are going to come stay with the kids so I don't have to worry a lick about their physical welfare... now the emotional welfare... that might be another story, but alas I survived 19 years, surely they can stomach a couple of days while out of town "fixing" their dad!! I explained to the 12yo that we are a team and that we are all gonna pull together because we have a team member who is down and we all have to take up the slack... it wasn't well received, or at least I didn't get the reaction that I was hoping for. My parents are all about what I lovingly refer to as "Life Lessons". They haven't figured out yet that grands are to be played with and enjoyed. They seem to see them as their own, to be constantly held accountable for every transgretion, no matter how slight... to learn from them. They never have learned to pick their battles as they pick every battle. The up side is that they love my babies very much and their physical needs will be well taken care of!
The Bad... I want it done today.... not tomorrow... not next week... TODAY. So the surgery is going to be late next week, recovery time is going to be a couple of weeks and then S will have to just be gentle with affected area. He, also, is not looking forward to his in laws visiting due to what it does to his submissive wife. When they come to town, she leaves, and is replaced by some alien chick that acts like a very short tempered 5yo. S is also very stressed about this procedure... since his ever so submissive wife takes care of his every need, he isn't used to stressing... Bless his little heart!
The Ugly... the fact that I can get pretty ugly before, during and after my parents and my family get together. It stresses me out and it oozes out every pore. I think before they get here I'm going to have to ask for a couple of swats to keep me inline. My parents treat me as though I am 5yo. I think they have a hard time getting their heads wrapped around the fact that I'm over 40, am raising 2 great kids, own my own business, have been married for over 16 years and am getting ready to start college again... course I guess I would have a hard time remembering all of that sometimes too... when a person is treated like they are five, a person tends to act as such... S is going to try to keep me in line!!
The ugly truth... I need a spanking..... I need a fixed husband, and I want to enjoy the company of my parents... the other ugly truth is that company and fish both start stinking after about 3 days!! *giggling*
More good is that my parents are going to come stay with the kids so I don't have to worry a lick about their physical welfare... now the emotional welfare... that might be another story, but alas I survived 19 years, surely they can stomach a couple of days while out of town "fixing" their dad!! I explained to the 12yo that we are a team and that we are all gonna pull together because we have a team member who is down and we all have to take up the slack... it wasn't well received, or at least I didn't get the reaction that I was hoping for. My parents are all about what I lovingly refer to as "Life Lessons". They haven't figured out yet that grands are to be played with and enjoyed. They seem to see them as their own, to be constantly held accountable for every transgretion, no matter how slight... to learn from them. They never have learned to pick their battles as they pick every battle. The up side is that they love my babies very much and their physical needs will be well taken care of!
The Bad... I want it done today.... not tomorrow... not next week... TODAY. So the surgery is going to be late next week, recovery time is going to be a couple of weeks and then S will have to just be gentle with affected area. He, also, is not looking forward to his in laws visiting due to what it does to his submissive wife. When they come to town, she leaves, and is replaced by some alien chick that acts like a very short tempered 5yo. S is also very stressed about this procedure... since his ever so submissive wife takes care of his every need, he isn't used to stressing... Bless his little heart!
The Ugly... the fact that I can get pretty ugly before, during and after my parents and my family get together. It stresses me out and it oozes out every pore. I think before they get here I'm going to have to ask for a couple of swats to keep me inline. My parents treat me as though I am 5yo. I think they have a hard time getting their heads wrapped around the fact that I'm over 40, am raising 2 great kids, own my own business, have been married for over 16 years and am getting ready to start college again... course I guess I would have a hard time remembering all of that sometimes too... when a person is treated like they are five, a person tends to act as such... S is going to try to keep me in line!!
The ugly truth... I need a spanking..... I need a fixed husband, and I want to enjoy the company of my parents... the other ugly truth is that company and fish both start stinking after about 3 days!! *giggling*
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