This is my journal... it also happens to be a blog where others that I don't know in real life can read and sometimes even comment.... it also happens to be where I communicate to my S, my HOH, the Love of my life, my man. This is not the only way that I communicate to him, but this is where I can write something... think it though... back space and hit delete unlike in conversations when things are said but can't be taken back.
There are things that S is still not allowed to do. A couple of things that is driving him absolutely nuts not doing. I think he feels claustrophobic... grounded... maybe even like
When a Dr tells you that you can not do something for 6 months... you can not do that thing for 6 months. She did not suggest it... it was an order... there are reasons for this. There are laws.... that is why he needs to listen to the Dr.
Should he not listen to her, bad things can happen. Not heeding her warning, our family's future could be put at risk. Crap happens. I'm not saying that Drs walk on water.... they are not perfect... but if he goes against what she is telling him and the worst happens... I don't even want to think about the worst.
The hard part about ttwd is that I feel so vulnerable... my feelings, my heart. When I sought out ttwd I had been wearing the pants in the family and it obviously wasn't working because I/we sought out something different. I wanted him to wear them. It's been hard at times... easier at other times, but all in all, very much worth it. We have had our struggles just like other couples but it has been so worth it. I love my man, and I so much love him guiding me. I trust him to make the right decisions for us and our family. I do trust him... I trust him with my life.
Sometimes though, even HOH's need to be guided... they need feedback and input... whether they want to hear it or not. Whether it's given appropriately or not... sometimes they need help remembering what is important... why we are doing what we are doing...
S, I love you... more than words can even say. You are my best friend and can not even fathom life without you! I'm so sorry for having a childish fit. You don't deserve to see that... but I'm only human... sometimes it's hard to get our feelings communicated appropriately.
Just a couple of more months baby... we are almost there! You have done such a great job of keeping yourself entertained so as to not drive us all crazy... but we still do have a little bit longer to go... I'm sorry... I love you!! ((hugs))
I do apologize to those who are confused...l wish I could go into more detail... maybe someday.