At first glance it looked wicked!

I was cruising through Pintrest again last night... I know, yet another bad habit... but I glanced at this... and wow, can you imagine what I thought it was?  I thought it was mean and wicked... as it turns out it's a necklace.  If you'd like to learn more about it, you can click here.  It really doesn't tell much about the necklace, more about the guy who made it who died earlier this year.

Anyway.... I saw it and thought of all of you... just thought I'd share! ;o)

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!xx

What is Domestic Disipline... and what is it not

My fellow blogger Grace at Enjoying the Journey is looking for everyone's opinion on what Dd is and what its not.  She was looking around the web for a definition and couldn't find one that she agreed with completely... so she is wanting everyone to give their two cents worth so she can put a definition together that she agrees with.  She suggested either leaving a comment on her blog or write a post, if we are so lead.  Well, I was looking for a subject to write on and this one is a good one!  Thank you Grace!!

By the way.... this is just my opinion and the opinion of my family.  I don't expect everyone to agree with me, as I know there are going to be people, usually anonymous, who don't agree.  If you'd like to leave a comment, I'll publish it as long as it is respectful...

What is Dd to me...
First of all, Dd, Domestic Discipline has to be an agreement on both sides.  Ideally an agreement, on paper, should be written out and agreed upon.  Love and respect should be the center of not only the marriage but the Dd agreement.

You might notice that I use Dd as opposed DD.  Last year sometime, Sara at Finding Sara pointed it out on her blog, that she uses Dd, the capital letter stands for her husband, or HOH.  The small letter stands for herself, lower case, submissive.  I liked that, and so I have used it ever since.  Now that is not to be confused with one being more important and one being less important.  In a healthy Dd relationship, the HOH has the important job to guide the family and that includes his mate.... but the submissive wife also has a very important job... to submit and be guideable.

The HOH has more jobs than to just be "the boss".  He is the protector of the family, keeping everyone safe.  Sometimes that means keeping us safe from ourselves.  That is where "rules" originate.  I don't really see them as rules.... I see them as guidelines so that we stay safe.  IMHO....there are times when the HOH has to correct his submissive wife.  It doesn't always have to be spanking.... I'd like to think that a compassionate will give a warning.  If the warning doesn't produce the correct response, there are other forms of punishment.  Some have their wife write a letter of apology or acknowledgement of the offence.  I have heard that there are some who, when the offence is produced by the mouth, use soap in the mouth.  Some use corner time... and yes, some spank their submissive wife.   There are no set rules, so there are as many ways to practice Dd as there are couples who practice Dd.

The submissive wife is not to be a slave to the HOH.  She, in our home, is to take care of the family, the home and the HOH.  She is not expected to be perfect.  She is, however, expected to have a good attitude, and to try her best to follow the guidelines, which is also to respond correctly to her HOH.  That is not to say that she isn't going to have bad days... we aren't perfect, we are human!

We are all human.... HOH and submissive wife alike.  Inconsistency from our HOH a subject that many talk about.  So many of us have blogged about wanting our HOH to be more consistent and I'm sure that if more men blogged, they might complain about the same thing about us.  It's just a thought... I'm just saying....

Dd is also a lot of work... required by all!!

What Dd is not....


Dd is not abusive!  Dd is not unkind!  Dd is not unrealistic!  Dd is not slave ownership!  Dd does not condone rape!  Dd is not disrespectful!

Wow.... I guess that is all I have for now!  I had a really good time thinking of how I think Dd should go... but again, there are as many ways to practice Dd as there are couples.

Family Rules

I found this sign on Pintrest today.... it hit so close to home for us!  Not only as a couple do we follow these rules, but we teach our children these same rules.  It's so sad that no everybody does.  I wonder what this world would be like if we took this sign to heart.  The only thing that I really wish that is also said was to believe in Jesus Christ and live for him.  Other than that... perfect.

Down there toward the bottom of the sign it says "take a moment to breathe"... that is the second time I have read that today.  I was lurking around and came across morningstar at The Journey, she is struggling but is remembering to breathe.  That is something that we all forget to do every so often.

I am sitting here trying to figure out which is the most important.... and I think they are all just as important as the rest.  I do have to say though that my now 9yo daughter is working on the "don't whine" and my almost 14yo son is trying hard to "be grateful" (or should I say we are trying to teach it to him! lol)  I'm trying to teach S to "Laugh out Loud" without much success, I have to admit.

My own person struggle is "be silly"... seems things have been so serious lately, trying to figure out some things coming up this fall.... trying to anticipate and adjust for what might come that I forget to enjoy what is here and now at times!  Things will get better but for now a bit stressy.... my own new word! ;o)

Maybe I need a spanking to remind me to be silly! lol

Oh, I am so so pissed off!

Oh, I can't believe how mad I am right now.  I'm really not a person who gets that mad that fast... or that often as far as that goes.  I guess I'm not used to this emotion.  I don't do well with it.  Externally it looks like I shut down... I don't usually say anything in the moment because I have learned in my life that I don't like to burn bridges.  If I'm going to, I want to make darn sure that I have thought the situation through and that that is what is needed.

My blood is boiling... I am feeling completely unappreciated, taken for granted and my knee jerk reaction is to burn that bridge.  No, S is not the poor soul who could possibly receive my bite with a side of venom.  He is very patiently listening to my ranting and raving.  I don't know if you remember but I asked him to keep me accountable as far as my language is concerned.  I don't know if I will get a pardon tonight or not but my words were flying out of my mouth as if a professional sailor.  My guess is that, if the kids weren't just outside and could come in at any moment, he would probably have taken me in our room and calmed me down... the way only a man who loves a woman can with her over his knee.... yeah, that would have been effective too!

Ok, I have a client... and after being generous and kind to this couple for several years, I had to start charging a bit extra for extra services.  Last week I worked extra for them... twice... and we had negotiated that I would receive $20 for this extra service... so that meant $40 extra for last week.  Well... for one of those days they were a bit snide about the extra cost... and sarcastically I said that if it was that big of a deal not to pay me the extra.  I thought nothing more about it till today... he paid me and mentioned that even though I told him not to worry about it, he was going to split the difference with me and paid me $10 for the extra work.

Now, I know what your probably thinking... I told him not to worry about it... I know.  S sat back... after letting me rant for nearly a half hour...and even agreeing with me... he said something like 'so this is over $10?'

Wow... how a person who is sitting outside of the forest can see the trees so much better than those of us in the forest with a blindfold on!! What that meant to me, once my head quit spinning around and green crap quit spewing out everywhere, was that I was this mad over $10.  How insane was that... and once I was able to get a handle on myself, I was able to realize just exactly how much I needed to calm down and figure out if I was willing to burn this bridge over $10.  Probably not.  But man I'd like to!! ;o)

I have learned not to say that they can pay whether they want to or not... because it is a big deal.

S is so good... he is so patient... so understanding... I love him so much.... hhmmm.... I wonder how his follow through will be tonight... I'll have to let you know! ;o)

P.S.  Thank you for listening... I feel better now! xx

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

I don't know how many that read this watched Americas Got Talent tonight.... Did you see All Beef Patty? OMG... He/she is larger than life....literally.... but can sing like nobodies business!  The costume looked like Cyndi Lauper.... but the singing was way better in my humble opinion.

Anyway... read the sign... that is me all over!! ;o)


I might even like it better than a spanking! *giggling*



Just had to share! LOL xx

Patience....

I am so glad I decided to come back and start blogging again... I am so inspired by all of you who are walking down this same path of ttwd.  Honestly, sometimes, I'm thinking it's all in the mindset.   I have to keep reminding myself of the things that I would like my S to guide me through and the more seriously I take it, the more real that I make it in my life, the sweeter our life really is.  My husband enjoys our life when we are practicing Dd... he might not be comfortable with the "punishment" part yet, but I believe that will all come in time.

You know, I was thinking the other night, and it totally dawned on me.  I have asked my husband to hold me accountable for different aspects in our daily life.  This isn't something that he is horrified by nor does he think it's stupid or any other negative thoughts about it.  But as uncomfortable as it was for me to go to him and ask to be guided through our married life... how un-nerving it must be to be expected to "preform", never really having done such a task.  Not that he is unwilling to stand up and meet the challenge that I have asked of him, but this being all new...  My HOH likes the idea that he is my hero... I love that I think of him as my hero as well.... but that also puts some pressure on them to "preform" like a "hero" and do what they do ever so perfectly.  I'm not looking for perfection, just to know that I'm very much loved and that he has the steering wheel.

As I was contemplating our life as we are easing ourselves back into ttwd.  I realized that I was really trying hard to keep the mindset even when we weren't practicing... but I did notice that sometimes I'd get angry and not really care what was coming out of my mouth aimed right toward him.  I don't think he is missing that...LOL

Anyway... I haven't had a "punishment" as yet... since we have been back to giving this another go of it.  I'm trying not to rush things.  I look back and realize that I used to "compare" our relationship with other blogs that I was reading and I see how unfair I was being to both of us.  This is our path, and it's going to look different than others.  Hindsight is so 20/20.  That is not that I haven't been getting a few spankings here and there.  During our intimate play time he has been spanking me.  Not horribly hard... way enough to get my attention and puts in my mind that he is willing to be the boss..... making me want to submit to him that much more!  I just melt like butter when his hand is on my behind! ;o)

So it came to me that what better way for him to "practice" this spanking thing than when we are playing.  I was thinking that when Blondie commented that she and her husband were actually playing the spanking scene before Dd.... so he had already become comfortable with "preforming", but she says that he still had a problem when it came to "punishment" spanks.  That is so nice to know!!!

Patience.... this is what it all seems to boil down to.  Being patient with ourselves.... him with him and me with me.... but then also patience with each other.

On a different note... to the anonymous who insists on being a jerk... screw you... get your own blog...  you may not be impressed my us "submissive" women.... but I really don't care... take it up with your shrink and write your own journal... this is mine and you won't get another second of my time or thoughts!

To everyone else... have a great day!! xxx

We might be making so progress....

The other night I wrote my S a fairly long note telling him that I'd like to work our way back to practicing Dd once again.  Not only did I write my letter to him but I also borrowed a letter that Mick wrote (BTW, thanks Mick!)  for several ladies that wanted him to write a letter to their husbands explaining why they needed to live in this life that we are craving so badly.  In this letter I told him that I needed his guidance and that I needed him to keep me accountable in several different aspects of my/our life.  Mind you, most people think I have it pretty well all together.  I have been running an in-home business for nearly 15 years, S and I have been together for nearly 17 years.... we have 2 kids that most think are pretty great (not perfect, but great! ;o))  Blah, blah, blah.... we have a good life.  I am the one that makes it look like it runs like a well oiled machine.  There are just a few personal things I'd like to have help working on.

S came to me yesterday morning and told me that he would be willing to work on this lifestyle that I'm asking for... but it's a mind thing that is his hurdle at the present.  Actually that was his hurdle when we attempting it before.  He doesn't like the idea of hurting me.  I totally get that.... I don't really want him to hurt me either!lol It finally came to me last night after a bit of play...  I'm one of those women who, during the day, are very dominant, take the bull by the horns, delegating, in charge of every little detail in my day type of person.  If it needs to get done, it gets done and I'm usually the person to do it.  At night, after the work day is over, I need to not be the "boss".   I need to have someone to make me accountable to, someone else be the boss, so to speak.

I need help making sure that I exercise daily.  It's so easy to, after working hard all day, cooking supper for the family to collapse into a heap and call it a day... I need to make it important to get up and walk for like 30 min. after dinner and then collapse!  I've been meaning to... know I need to... but it doesn't get done.  I also need help making sure that I make a menu out for our dinners in our home.  I don't want to meticulously plan 7 course meals every day.... but I'd like to at least make out a weekly plan as to what the main dish will be, then I can figure out the sides on the fly.  I feel that if I had a plan that it would not only take stress off my day because I can just take care of dinner instead of having to figure out what to have.  It would also keep us from eating out as much... which isn't great for our health or our wallet!


I'd also like to have an incentive to clean up my mouth.  I think that the person that sat down and decided that there were "bad" words, and what they were, should be taken out and shot... but that is a story for another time.   Anyway, I'd like to have an incentive not to use the curse words that just slip out every once in a while...    Oh, and I also need for him to curb my bad habit of volunteering (me/us) for stuff without getting his ok first.  He was VERY ok with this one!


One other thing that I'd like him to make sure that I do is make sure to take a shower every evening before going to bed.  I know this sounds so stupid... I know I'm grown and that I should be able to do this on my own... but don't we all get a little lazy sometimes and would rather just collapse into bed at the end of a hectic day instead of taking that few extra minutes to take a shower.  Yes, I could just take my shower in the morning but....unless it's something spontaneous, I don't enjoy being intimate unless I'm freshly showered.  This means that if I'm too lazy to take a shower... then I'm sending him a signal to stay on his side of the bed. I don't want to do that anymore.  I want him to not only be the king of his castle, but also the king of his bed.  If he decides to come over to my side, I want him to feel like he can.  Don't get me wrong.... I can still say "no"... I'm not giving up any rights.... I just want to be available to my husband if he is needing a bit of TLC.

Not such a horrible list, right?  I'm willing to be able to go to him and tell him if I have I've slipped and it's his right to what he thinks is fair.  I even gave him a list of possible punishments that aren't necessarily "painful" but would definitely get the point across!

I'll keep everyone posted....sorry this ended up so long.....

Everything Changes... Even Blogger!

Wow.... a girl quits blogging for 4 months and everything changes! ;o)  Trying to find my way around Blogger and seeing all the new bloggers... so much changes, yet so many things stay the same!!

I have to say that I have missed everyone so much... I think I needed to go off and lick my wounds for a bit. Sometimes we can be so injured ... raw even... that even if it doesn't make any sense, we need to find a quite safe place to sulk.  I'm doing much better now.... I have been inspired by our friend Sara.  She has been through so much and yet she is such a strong woman!  I dare say an inspiration to most if not all of us!  

Nothing much has changed in my little corner of the world.  Still working... still raising our kids.... still in love with my S.  I'm not sure where we are as far as Dd goes.  I wrote him a letter yesterday, telling him of my desire to start trying Dd again.  I told him that I loved him so much and that my desire was to love him and to serve him and our family.  I wanted him to help guide me though our life... to help me become a better person... for myself... for him... for our family.

Anyway.... I'm back.  I've missed you all and hope to get caught back up with everyone!! **hugs**

We knew it would get better

How is it that our moods are so in tune with the weather?  If its over cast and yucky outside, our mood can definitely take a plunge in short order.  On the other hand, a person who might have been having a bout of the blues might step out doors, the sun beaming down and bathe that person with warmth and turn that frown upside down.

The weather in our region has been fabulous!  Sunshine, birds singing, spring is popping all over the first of March!!  How freaking wonderful is that??  S seems to be feeling so much better!  He is finding projects outside that have been needing to be done... and he has the motivation to also clean out his shop... which is a feat in and of it's self!! LOL

Many of you read and commented on my last post where I had a fitty fit when S decided he was going to take a risk that I didn't feel was worth it.  Well.... here is what happened...

Nothing.  He didn't do what he wanted to do after my head spun around.  He didn't get mad at me for wigging out, I think because he knew I was right.  There was no fight... no horrible words that would have exploded prior to ttwd.  There was respect... there was love... there was compassion...

We haven't been spanking lately, and I have been worrying that since we haven't been actively practicing Dd, that we would just fall apart and go back to the bad habits that we forced upon each other before.  After the episode, I went back to being respectful and submissive... and he started talking to me as if nothing ever happened.  Communication is so important... but sometimes communication doesn't have to involve words.  Sometimes less is more.  Sometimes just body language... eye contact... attitude... all speaks louder than words.

Thank you all so much for your support!  This community means so much to me!  It means so much to "hang out" with others who have "been there, done that"

Life is good!! ((hugs))

It just hurts my heart

This is not a spanking post.... keep on clicking if you want, I won't be offended...

This is my journal... it also happens to be a blog where others that I don't know in real life can read and sometimes even comment.... it also happens to be where I communicate to my S, my HOH, the Love of my life, my man.  This is not the only way that I communicate to him, but this is where I can write something... think it though... back space and hit delete unlike in conversations when things are said but can't be taken back.

I got pissed off mad today.  I mean really mad.  I yelled... I slammed the dishwasher door... I shut up and ignored him.  I'm not so sure that I'm mad or if I'm scared and don't know how to get that point through.

There are things that S is still not allowed to do.  A couple of things that is driving him absolutely nuts not doing.  I think he feels claustrophobic... grounded... maybe even like someone the Dr has taken away his manhood.  No, he can have sex... he is ok there.  His independence has been taken from him temporarily, only his sees it as forever.

When a Dr tells you that you can not do something for 6 months... you can not do that thing for 6 months.  She did not suggest it... it was an order... there are reasons for this.  There are laws.... that is why he needs to listen to the Dr.

Should he not listen to her, bad things can happen.  Not heeding her warning, our family's future could be put at risk.  Crap happens.  I'm not saying that Drs walk on water.... they are not perfect... but if he goes against what she is telling him and the worst happens... I don't even want to think about the worst.

The hard part about ttwd is that I feel so vulnerable... my feelings, my heart.  When I sought out ttwd I had been wearing the pants in the family and it obviously wasn't working because I/we sought out something different.  I wanted him to wear them.  It's been hard at times... easier at other times, but all in all, very much worth it.  We have had our struggles just like other couples but it has been so worth it.  I love my man, and I so much love him guiding me.  I trust him to make the right decisions for us and our family.  I do trust him... I trust him with my life.

Sometimes though, even HOH's need to be guided... they need feedback and input... whether  they want to hear it or not.  Whether it's given appropriately or not... sometimes they need help remembering what is important... why we are doing what we are doing...

S, I love you... more than words can even say.  You are my best friend and can not even fathom life without you!  I'm so sorry for having a childish fit.  You don't deserve to see that... but I'm only human... sometimes it's hard to get our feelings communicated appropriately.

Just a couple of more months baby... we are almost there!  You have done such a great job of keeping yourself entertained so as to not drive us all crazy... but we still do have a little bit longer to go... I'm sorry... I love you!!  ((hugs))

I do apologize to those who are confused...l wish I could go into more detail... maybe someday.

Just had to pass this one on...

I was getting ready to shut down the ole computer tonight... thought I'd take a cruise over at Facebook before heading "that way"... and I ever so innocently came across this sign and thought of a few of my friends here in Blogland....

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I figured you would!! **giggling**  


Have a wonderful weekend!! ((hugs))

Does it get any better?

The kids were gone, and this couple was left to their own imaginations and desires.

Now this is where it should get very hot... and very steamy... but alas, I hate to disappoint.  Just 12 hours after I had arranged to have hot evening alone with the love of my life, I started vomiting.  There is a virus that has been flying through our community and our daughter had it earlier in the week.  I had seen the symptoms in her, and knowing that it only lasts for 24 hours... but it was definitely to put a damper on our evening.

I didn't feel wonderful all day.... the vomiting only lasted a couple of hours... but my body felt like I had working out in the garden the first weekend of spring... very stiff and sore.  I also felt like I had smoked too many cigarettes the night before, and I haven't smoked for nearly 10 years!

Our boy left just before noon, and sister left a couple of hours later.  We had the house to our selves.  We watched TV... surfed the net.   We napped off and on.  Had a very lazy day.  It was very nice.  Later in the day, after making sure that drink and crackers were staying down, we decided that we needed to go get a bit to eat.  Showering made me feel better but I still felt weak and it still hurt to breath... but it sounded good just to get out of the house for a bit.

We went to a diner and had an omelet.. it felt good to have warm food in me.  We are both people watchers... we sat there and chatted, commented on passers by... enjoyed each others company.  I love him... and I know he loves me.

After our dinner was done it was time to go home.  I'm sure the evening would have been much different had I been feeling better.  We got cozy when we got home.  He watched TV and I played on the computer.  Eventually we got tired... went to bed and cozied up together.  Yeah, we had a little fun but nothing compared to the fun we would have had had I been up to par.

No spankings... no history making sessions... just two people who love each other very much.

Plenty enough for me.

Yes, I'm feeling better.. still a bit sore and still feeling like I smoked too much last night... everything is staying down.

And the kids are coming back this morning... we miss them... but it's been a good miss!! ((hugs))

Mmmmhhmmm.... that's what I'm sayin'!

Oh, I'm so excited.... and I just can't hide it!!

I got a phone call this morning that has turned my weekend in a totally new direction!  One of my son's friends called and wants him to come over Saturday night... and then my daughter got invited over to her friends home for Saturday evening!!!

                         Can you say DATE NIGHT????!!!!

There are a few blogs that I follow that go on date night with their husbands at least once a  week, maybe more.   Yeah, I do envy these ladies... but I have resolved myself to the fact that I will take what I can get and appreciate the few date nights that I can get with my hubby.

Oh man... I'm gonna have to make a list... what to do first!! *giggling like a little school girl*  ((hugs))

Now they tell me!

My question.... how do we get my Dr to believe this?? ;o)

Have a great day everyone!! ((hugs))

Happy Valentines Day!!

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted anything.  I've been around.  I've been reading... commenting... enjoying stumbling onto a few new bloggers.  But I've not really had a lot to say.

We were supposed to have a plan to ensure that I would receive my reminder spankings.  It worked very well the first night... and then the second night.... but the third and forth, I just couldn't make myself.  Who wants to ask for pain?  I know there are some of you out there who would beg for pain.  Heck I'm sure some even pay for it... I just couldn't remind him of my reminder/maintenance.

Last night he remembered.  Right before we were headed to bed he took me by the hand and led me to the spot where we had decided that no one would hear.  I balked a bit.  Told him I was fine and didn't need one... he said that I did... he was right... I did need one.  It had been a while since we had had a spanking session.  Yesterday was a tough day.  Kids stomping all over my last nerve... we were under a winter weather advisory (now it decides to dump our first snow... in FEBRUARY).  We were well prepared for this storm, but it was the unknown that was unnerving.  I had a couple of fits... nothing horrific and nothing pointed at him,  but not my normal self.

The evening was quiet... kids found something quiet to do, trying to be invisible as to not to get anyone's attention to be sent to bed.  S was watching TV and I was surfing the net... reading blogs...   I got up and took my shower to prepare for bed, and I felt so much better.   The bad attitude washed off and down the drain.   A wonderful feeling.  I put the kids to bed and finished surfing.  Nice quiet night... warm home.. snow on the ground outside and feeling very thankful for all God has blessed us with.  We decided it was time to head for bed, closing everything down... and he took my hand... it took a second or two for it to get my attention... he tugged a bit... drew me too him.  He said "Come on, it's time".  "Oh... no... I'm good... you really don't have to...  " I balked.  "Oh, I know I don't have to... and yes you do" he said ever so calmly.

He led me to our spot... I reluctantly bent over as told.... my pajamas were slipped down.  He lovingly rubbed my behind.. very sweet... and the spanking with his hand began.  His hand is my favorite implement.  No warm up for my guy.. he just plowed right in... after about 3 he had taken my breath away.  He kept going... wanting to make sure that I was "good".  This wan't a punishment so I knew that this wasn't going to be horribly intense, but after not having been spanked for a while....  he got his point across! ;-)

We headed to bed... we had a nice love session.  During a bit of pillow talk I apologized for not reminding him like we had talked about.  He asked me why I hadn't and I explained that while I loved where my head goes after a spanking.... and where I also loved where his head goes after a spanking (I know this by how he acts after)... I just couldn't ask the pain.  I did tell him that if he wanted me to I would bring it up.

He's thinking he can remember.

I'm doubting it... but there is always a glimmer of hope! LOL

Today is Valentines Day.... I feel so connected to my guy... that in it's self is plenty!  We don't spend a lot of money on this day.  We are hoping to be able to get out this evening and have dinner together while leaving the kids at home with a home made pizza.  Time by our selves as a couple is the best present I could possibly get!!

Happy Valentines Day everyone!!  Hope it's all you could possibly want and more!!  ((hugs))

I need a spanking, please

It was Thursday night... reassurance night.  This would be only our second one since we have had our plan.  Just in case you haven't kept up recently, S and I have a plan, and that is that I am to say on Monday and Thursday evenings "it's time" and he will then remember that we are to have a reassurance meeting.  Him reassuring me that he loves me, cares for me, is taking care of me by taking me in hand and warming my behind.

Thankfully this lifestyle is as each couple that practices it. Some might say that it's not spontaneous enough and that reassurance spankings should not be scheduled so rigidly, that the same days every week is not how it should be set up.  We are what I refer to as "regular kids".  We (S and I and our kids for that matter) do so much better when we get on a schedule.  We go to church on Sundays and Wednesday... Mondays and Thursday evenings are laundry night...Tuesday and Friday nights are quiet and most generally don't have anything planned and Saturdays we run and run and run.  This is just general and it's not to say that we can't bend but for the most part we like boring!  Boring for some... comfortable for us.

So we schedule my spankings and I'm ok with that.  We are bendable in the fact maybe someday they won't be on M & Th.... for now we are doing well.  I, at some point in the evening, am to say "it's time" and that ques S that we need to meet later in the evening.  One of the reasons that I am ok with reminding him, at least for now is because he is still on sick leave, and I do have to say that when you stay home and don't have a regular routine, you can actually forget what day it is!

Last night we had our meeting and I have to say that he is definitely getting back into the swing of things (pardon the pun! ;-))  It wasn't a long spank, after all it is a reassurance/maintenance spanking and it isn't meant to take me to tears or anything... but I have to say Wow....   I'm not sore this morning, but he definitely made an impact last night!!  WWoooHoo! ;o)

I know I'm not the only one who's man isn't as consistent as we would like.... some can't read our minds like we would like them too...  It isn't one of the most comfortable things in the world, to ask for what you need... but it is way more comfortable than dealing with our emotions that we get when we don't get the spanking that we have coming!!  I almost didn't remind S last night.  I don't know if he would have remembered or not.  I wasn't sure I "needed" one... but then I ran through my mind how I would feel if I had that spanking vs not having it.  If I swallowed my pride and asked for my spanking by reminding him, my behind and my heart would both be warm.... and we'd probably have some hot play time later.  If, however I didn't remind him I would feel forgotten, not taken care of, and if we did have intimate time later if would probably be out of obligation instead of being hot for my husband.

While it's going to take some getting used to, asking S to take care of me is going to be far easier on this ole' gal than the roller coaster of emotions that I would go through if I didn't.

Next, I'll have to ask him to join my blog!! **huge grin**

Mommy... What is puberty??

You know.... I really appreciate these shows that are supposed to be shows about kids for kids and they have to throw around words like puberty.  Really??  Could they not find a better way to get a laugh??  My child is 8 and I'm sure she is of average age of the kids who watch this.  How many 8 yo's know exactly what puberty is and are comfortable enough to laugh at this joke of a child saying "I'm not looking forward to puberty!"

Again, I say REALLY??   I know we are supposed to (and I do) talk to our children about the whole sex thing and what their bodies are going to be going through... does it have to shoved down their throats??  Our throats??  If she were watching a teen show or grown up show I'd understand.... but again... REALLY??

So I explain that to her simply that it's the process that her body is already going through that takes her from a child to a young lady.   Oh, OK!!  IMO... when the audience has to ask for the joke to be explained, a  lot of the laughter is lost!

It really wasn't that painful, nor embarrassing... I just get annoyed when the writers for these kids shows can't keep it age appropriate!  What ever happened to farts being funny.... people tripping... slippy fingers that drops a bunch of stuff...pies in the face... all of these things are way funnier to any 8yo than the word puberty!


On a different note... it's Thursday night... and I'm building up the courage to say "it's time" if I have to!!  I know that I'll get more and more comfortable asking for what I need... but I have to say... code words make it a bit less stressful!!  I used to think that if I had to remind S for the promised spanking that he didn't really want to do it or wasn't really into ttwd.

Apparently I was wrong.  S told me that he really is into this lifestyle... likes being "the boss" he just forgets.  He says he doesn't forget me, he just forgets the spanking and he really does want me to remind him... seems like that might be my first "rule".

Follow through ROCKS!!

OMGoodness.... I think I have a man who is gonna be following through!!! I'm so excited about that!!

We were on our way home from town, the kids were jabbering... S was teasing them by saying that when we got home that it was time for bed. I laughing said I would go... LOL Then it dawned on me... I would use code.

I said..."I think it's time".... A couple of posts back we decided to make a plan... I would be getting reassurance spankings on Monday and Thursday nights and the plan also included that if he forgot I was to remind him by saying "it's time".  I wasn't sure at the time how I was going to be able to make myself say it without feeling totally stupid....

"I know it's time" he says in a bit of a softer voice.


I was so proud... he remembered.

I just can't believe that my head is in a place where I'm excited about my behind being spanked... sometimes I have a hard time getting my head wrapped around that concept but it's true.  I do not enjoy the spanking, per say.  It hurts and I'm not that into pain.  It's even a bit embarrassing due to the fact that the room that we use to not be found or heard by sleeping children is not our bedroom.  In our room, exposing my behind to my husband is not a new or weird thing.  But to drop my drawers and bend over in a room that is not used for that.... well I guess it's a bit humiliating,  which I guess kinda adds to the whole equation.  I had chosen a different room... a bit smaller, maybe a bit more intimate albeit not our room but IMO a bit more comfortable.  Guess when your getting a spanking comfort is not really on the list of requirements.  And since I'm not the one in charge....

I had decided that I was going to count my swats.... not out loud for him but I guess for me.  You know you gotta have some sort of measuring stick so you can compare to what others say they get.  I  know I'm a weenie and don't know that I would ever be interested in getting a caning...  but last night was my first spanking in what seems like a very long time so I wasn't looking for a very long spanking ... or one with several implements.  I got 14 swats with  his hand..... I needed my HOH to take me in hand and follow through and spank me to remind me that we are doing ttwd... and that is exactly what I got!! WWoohhoo!

He's the man... and he is my man... and I love him very much!!  I felt taken care of.  I know that spanking me and leading me does not come naturally to him.  If it were up to him he would probably like to just be in the back ground like his own dad.... but we pull him to the fore front.  When the kids naturally come to me wanting permission to do something.... I try to remember to have them ask their Dad.  It hasn't always been that way but I think he is enjoying the feeling of leading a bit more every time he is asked.  I see him growing into his leadership role every day and couldn't be more proud!!

I'm suckin'... and not the good way!

I'm a pretty level headed person... for the most part. I don't usually struggle with mood swings... bursts of anger or depression. I have more than one time in my life been accused of being jolly! People in real life generally like me.... and I generally like most of them. I know that everyone has a "thing" and that we all have issues... and that we could all use a break for what ever reason from time to time.

Given all of that, I have been sucking this weekend... not the good way. Things that don't usually bother me have been sending me over the top. Not just over the top, crazy over the top!! I'm almost thinking that I have caught Faerie's "menopause brain"

Friday S sold an asset of ours. Not anything that we needed or ever even planned on using again as we decided it was too dangerous. Someone called wanting to buy it. This is cool... everyone can always use the money... right? Well... very long, horribly long story short... we ended up selling it for half of what we bought it for... totally pissed me off. S said that there were repairs that needed to be fixed... but I get so tired of people who want what you have but tell you what a piece of crap you have... aauughhhh~~

Saturday.... the day was going ok... I was over my rant from the day before. We all went shopping and life was fairly good. S was going through the motions... trying to be involved with the living... figured out later that he didn't take his meds that morning... so was feeling a bit "off". We went home and rested... trying to enjoy the rest of the day just laying around till the evening when we had a casual church function to go to that evening. Five minutes before we were to leave, he asked if we would be ok if he didn't go.

The kids and I went ahead and went and he stayed home. It totally broke my heart and I did shed a tear but thought I would be ok... but I wasn't. I love having him near me... the weekends are huge in our lives. Family time... couple time in family time. Yes we live together but with my work... kids school... church... school functions.... not a lot of family/couple time during the week. That night I had a bit of a meltdown... he held me, I cried... he was sorry, but I didn't want him to be sorry... I wanted this day to start over so that at that point we would be making hot passionate love enjoying each other rather than where we were... him still in a medically induced haze... me feeling sorry for myself because my HOH was down and not able to guide me or was it that I was pouting because I didn't get what I wanted... who knows.

Sunday... Really?? Are you kidding me?? We had a church function after service today and I'll tell you what, I let a couple of those little old bitties get under my skin. You know the kind... the ones who sit in church, don't doing anything but back biting those of us who have to take up the slack for those same do-nothing lovelies. I know better than to let these people bother me and get under my skin... but I'm think that my defenses were down due to the rest of the weekend.

Well... for those who have continued reading, even though I'm not sure I would have... here is the funny one. At the dinner at church, S and I were sitting at a table with two couples who we are close to(but not close enough to tell our secret). These same friends and S were giving me a bad time about my attitude... when S piped up that "maybe what she needs is to be taken out behind the shed"... laughingly they all agreed.

HHmmmm..... for some reason I started feeling a bit better. Honestly... I'm thinking that I'm very anxious about Monday night... for those who don't know, we are getting back on track and I'm getting my first "reassurance" spanking Monday night. After the weekend I've had... it maybe couldn't come soon enough!

A reset may just be very much in order!

Sorry S for such a hard weekend... I love you so much!!

I think we have a plan!

OMG.... in the light of day I'm wondering what the heck I've gotten myself into!!  You gotta be careful what you ask for, you just might get it!!

A couple of days ago I posted about how I didn't know if we would continue practicing spanking because I didn't think S was into it.  Well... last night we went to bed... had some pretty hot intimate playtime together.. and after I was just really thinking about all the feedback that I received from all of you who commented and told me that I just need to talk to him... tell him how I feel.  I have done that before... we have had several conversations.... I have sent him several emails.... and he always seemed very on board with the whole him/boss and me/not boss thing.  His biggest draw back to spanking is that I don't really screw up.  Not to say that I'm perfect and walk on water.... I do what I know he likes.... I try to (not always successfully) take care of business.

What I think he has a hard time understanding is that while I don't necessarily like the pain of a spanking... I love where it puts my heart and my head.  I love how submissive I feel.  I love feeling like Joan Cleaver (minus the pearls and lovely attire).  I love that my kids can just tell that everything is right with the world.  Mom is happy... everybody is happy!

I digress... anyway.... I brought up the subject yet again.... "I miss being spanked"

"I miss spanking you"


"HHmmm.... then I think we need to start again.... what did you think of the email I sent you the other day?" I sent him FindingSara  Submission Exercises: What we do  post that covered a multitude of things including the need to be spanked...she also linked to a post that Grant had written back in '09 A question on submission exercises   Both are great posts!!  I'm thankful to men like Grant and FloridaDom who are well educated men who are willing to share their experiences and help other men... and women... learn their way along the path called ttwd!!

"I read it... it made sense"


"So are you up for something like that?"

"Yeah, but what about the kids?"


"They will be asleep..." and then I told him where at the other end of the house we could go....

"Hhhmm.... that could work"


"Ok... so it's settled.... how about Monday and Thursday evenings...." I had really been thinking on this and wanted to make sure to be prepared with what would work with our schedules.... and had also realized that we needed a specific day... not just say every couple of days because that just has never worked.

"I think that will work"


"Ok... now I have to put this out there... we have gotten to this point before... you have agreed... we have made plans but it never comes to pass.  So... do I need to remind you?"  Yep... I went there... it had to be said!  I know, from almost 17 years of marriage, that is man would do anything for me, whenever I needed him to... but I have to ask.  I have to say it out loud.  He is a highly intelligent man, just can't remember crap! LOL

After a moment of thought "Just say 'it's time' and I'll know"  I have fought for a long time against reminding him... I have always felt that if I had to remind him that he really didn't want to do it.... that he would just be going through the motions... now he is telling me as my HOH to tell him when it is time... hhmmm I guess I should consider this my first "rule".... I guess it's all in how you look at it!!!


Wow... how cool is that!  We have a plan.  It just proves that we ladies can get a certain picture in our heads as to how we think ttwd should look... the part we forget is how it's gonna look in our HOH's head.  We women think so much differently than our men and we forget to interject their thoughts into our pictures that we have dreamed about.  Once we do that... we get what we call reality!  I guess if I have to say it out loud, then that is one of those things that I have to do.

I want to take a moment to thank everyone who took time out of their day to care enough to comment and share a bit of advise!  Again... my cyber family ROCKS!!!

I'll keep ya posted on our "reassurance" progress!  ((hugs))

Long time no see!!!!

Hey everybody!!  I can't believe that it has taken so long for me to post... life has been crazy.. so much to do so little time to post!!!  Anyway... I've missed you all terribly... I keep meaning to take a few minutes to post... but it seemed when I had a minute or two, I wasn't impressed with how things were going and didn't really want to get on here and whine.... but here I am now... I'll try to get ya'll caught up! lol

My computer did get fixed... it took some doin' buy finally she is back home where she needs to be!! ;o)  Hopefully spyware won't be a problem again!!

Our kids... Our 13yo son is still doing well... as well as teens can be! LOL  Our 8yo daughter is doing well... she is the bubbly in our family.  I have been meaning to have the "talk" with her... we have always been very open, she knows she can ask any question and I will talk to her about anything... well yesterday I was helping her after her shower (she asked, it's not required) she lifted her arms and OMGoodness, she had armpit hair!!  AAuugghhhh!!!  It just seems like 8 is a bit early for that!!!  So... I guess I'm going to get her a care package together and we are going to have a girl time date.  I'm so excited for her.... so proud of her.... but then I remember what it was like to have that monthly visit... I'm glad it's her and not me!  I just pray that I'm able to guide her to be the beautiful young woman that I just know she will be... but honestly, 8yo....she is still my baby.  I know she will always be my baby.... they both will be!!!

My S... he is doing fine.  His back is not giving him much grief which is wonderful!  He is still on sick leave from his other medical issue... which is driving him nuts.  He is stuck at home with me... not much to do but watch TV and baby our dog.  He doesn't have a hobby so this is a very tough time for him.  We were both struggling a couple of weeks ago... doing better now.  Communication is the core of any good marriage no matter if you decide to have spanking in your life or not.  Dd is definitely the way in which we believe that we need to live... but I'm thinking we probably won't  practice spanking any longer.  This makes me sad because I really want/need this, but I guess he doesn't want to.... and I guess that's that.  I wrote him an email and explained how much I wanted/needed maintenance/reassurance  spankings... that was a couple of weeks ago... I have decided that it's not worth our marriage to shove down his throat what he isn't interested in.   We still love each other... I am still submissive... and maybe someday we will get there. Life is a process...I guess I decided that if we aren't both into it then it isn't for us.  We'll figure it out... one day at a time!! ;o)

So anyway.... I guess that is all I have for today.... cept that I want to make sure that you all know that I've missed you and I'm hoping to catch up on everyone's posts!!

((hugs))