Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy send off.....expecting wonderfulness!!

Oh my seems like forever since I've posted... so much has happened... and so little at the same time!!

My computer... my dear sweet friend is at the computer doctor... how sad! Seems viruses are not the only thing you have to worry about picking up on the net... seems you have to worry about spyware... hhmmm.... had no idea. Seems over 2500 different thingys had attached themselves to my friend. Anyway... she is supposed to be back Tuesday so maybe I'll be able to get back into the groove of visiting with my friends out here on the net. S has graciously allowed me to use his computer and I took him up on it since I just really wanted to post an update to my friends and let you all know that I have, in fact, not fallen off the face of the earth. I have been able to do a little reading of blogs on my wonderful Nook that I got for Christmas... just not a good typing implement!

Christmas... We had a wonderful Christmas celebration with family and friends. The kids are now officially even more spoiled than they were before! ;o) We got each of the kids a Nook ereader as they both (especially 13yo) needed an inspiration to read. So far, so good!!! The boy has already read a book that was over 250 pages and I don't know if he has ever read that much his entire life... let alone in one weekend!! LOL We are continuing to pray and expect mighty things! Christmas decorations are taken down and up in the attic for another year!

My parents.... they have come and gone, with no real drama, they weren't here long enough to get any real drama going! LOL We enjoyed their company and they enjoyed the kids... got some business done... overall, a good time had by all! Exhausting but good!

S and his health are getting better on a daily basis. Doing more... getting around better... his good humor is returning as he is giving the kids a bad time on a daily basis. We still haven't gotten back into ttwd... being submissive is a bit difficult without being "guided". I would love to get back into the thought of any kind of maintenance... I know I can talk to S about this... maybe I will in a day or two... but our intimacy is well on it's way back to where it was pre surgery and pre other health issues. Baby steps! God is so good!

Well... today we are getting ready to send 2011 off with a bang.... playing board games and eating more than we need... spending time with family and friends... hoping to be able to stay up till midnight!!

Hope everyone sends off 2011 with a great time and usurers in 2012 with the people we love... Praying for all of you!! Missing all of you!!

Happy New Year, my dear friends!!!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Mind Full or Mindful....

What a crazy time of the year we are in right now... count down to Christmas... course in our house we have been counting down since before Thanksgiving!!  There are only 2 days separating us from Christmas Eve, and most of us get crazier and busier everyday.  Really lets be honest, we don't have to be in the throws of the Christmas season to be wearing "busy" as a badge of honor.   Are we really better off than our pets??

How often do we really mean to keep in touch with a person who is moving, life gets in the way and next thing you know it's been 5 years since you've seen or spoken to them.  Now these days, with Facebook, we can be friends, see each other online, post a little something every once in a while, but at least you can keep updated as to what is going on in their lives because of their posts.

Anyway... I saw this cartoon and it totally hit home how busy we all are at Christmas... do we really remember the "reason for the season"?  I'm so thankful that I have all the shopping done... wrapping done.. planning for guests done... not everything is but the "big" stuff is taken care of.  Once I was able to sit down for a minute, I closed my eyes for a moment and remembered what this season is all about.... Poor Mary, can you imagine riding on a donkey 9 months pregnant??  Can you imagine having your baby in a stable??  That is just a fraction of the thoughts that came to my mind.

I just want to wish you all a fabulous Christmas!!  I hope you all get everything done and are able to sit back and relax and enjoy your families... eat more than your supposed to... do a little "after Christmas shopping"... but most of all I hope that we can all take a few minutes to remember that Jesus Christ was born for us to eventually, in his short life,  die for us all!!  ((hugs))

Friday, December 16, 2011

Happy Friday!!

When you just can't get anybody to help you out!  *giggling*

Hope everybody has a great weekend!!

Monday, December 12, 2011

That's Billy Joel

Driving down the road, listening to the radio, S says "That's Billy Joel"

"No it's not"

"Yes it is..."

"No... no it's not..."

"Yes it is!"

"No... I don't think so"

"Yes it is.... and you shouldn't argue something unless your for sure about what your arguing about!"

"Yeah, I know... and I know it's Billy Joel"

"Finally, you believe me..."

"I already knew who it was.. I just felt like arguing... don't you ever feel like just arguing?"

I looked at him... he looked at me... he grinned and nodded.... "Yeah, I guess sometimes I do"

I wasn't having a great day... the kids were bickering and I wanted to leave them home while I ran to the grocery store but S wanted to get out of the house too.  Plus he wanted to help because he knew it was going to be a fairly big load.  Truth be known, in hindsight, I was glad to have all three of them.  But I really could have used a little alone time but it ended up being a very positive food trip.

This evening we went caroling to a couple of nursing homes with our church.  If that doesn't warm your heart and get you into the "Reason for the Season" mood, nothing will.  Singing to those appreciative faces makes me melt and forget stress of the day.  Hearing the songs that remind us of the reason we celebrate.  My kids were standing near me, listening to them sing melted my heart, realizing that we are making memories... making traditions.... hoping that they will teach their children these same traditions.

I am now ready for Christmas.  I've been doing all the Christmas stuff that I have needed to do, but now my heart is ready.  Ready to enjoy the family.... the friends.... the crazy schedule that we put ourselves on.

Sunday, December 11, 2011


It is so hard being in the same room with other and feeling a bit alone.  It's kinda been that way here lately.  I'm not really sure why, but it has been.  I think I know why and it all makes sense... but just because you know why, doesn't make it any easier.  S has been hanging out at home these days... in his purgatory... not really doing anything.  Resting... watching TV...being restless...  On the upside he is definitely getting plenty of rest after the surgery... not getting a chance to reinjure himself so that is wonderful.  He has a tendency to try to over due it but in this place he is right now, there is no chance in that for a while.

So even though we have been spending all our time together, we may have been drifting a bit.  Not that we don't love each other, but absence really does make the heart grow fonder!  It seems to me that the stress of having him around 24/7 may be as stressful as when they are gone for days!  At least that's how it looks from this point of view!! ;o)

Things have been pretty quite in our room... I didn't want to hurt him, I've been trying to be patient but sometimes that translates into quietness and disconnectedness.  I don't like feeling this way... but I don't want to make him feel bad for not being.. well... you know, interested healed up.  He makes me feel very loved, but you know when you are so used to doing the horizontal limbo nearly every night and all of a sudden NUTHIN'...notta....  Ok, I'm being unfair...I may be exaggerating, but I have been missing the whole package!  We were loving... intimate... together... but it just hasn't been the same, till last night!!!

WWWooo HHHoooo!!


God I love my man! :o)

Friday, December 9, 2011

Life really is good

I have really had a hard time putting fingers to keyboard lately... I really don't know what to say.  I don't know if I want to comment on my last post... or if I just want to go on, then I don't really know where to "go on" to.  I don't know if I'm stuck or if maybe I really am meant to comment and close the book on this last post.

Well... if you haven't read my last post, my 13yo was punished for kicking a big dent into the side of our garage. It was out of anger, and he had been struggling with his grades, and honestly seemed to be reeling out of control.  S and I decided that since we had tried everything else and to no avail, he needed to be punished.  It was completely out of love and concern and have actually never done such a thing since when he was much smaller.

Anyway... when I posted it, I noted that negative feedback was not appreciated that this was my blog and that if you wanted to blog, as my friend Stormy once said, go get your own!!  I was so raw... the feelings were so new, I was hurting from so many directions.  Not only were we struggling with "the boy" but we are also struggling with my husbands health and a few other things.  My head was spinning in so many directions and my heart had been crushed.

I want to thank those of you who supported me by posting such supportive comments.  There are those of us who do believe in corporal punishment, as a matter of fact, the public school that our kids go to practices corporal punishment.  I know that not all of us who follow Dd also believe in in for our children, but there are some of us who do.  We don't practice it because it's fun, nor do we just go around thrashing our children over small incidentals or first time offences.  Serious time and prayer are put into such a decision.

For those of you who supported me as a friend by not posting... I appreciate you as well.  I think sometimes we can agree to disagree and that is one of the wonderful dynamics of friendship.  You could see that I was hurting, struggling and knew that not only would negative feedback not only be unhelpful, but possibly even detrimental.

I want to update where we are in our little part of the world.  S is still struggling a bit with his health issues but is actually more sad about the "purgatory" that that he is stuck in because of it... all will be fine eventually, we just have to hold on and enjoy the ride.

The Boy... oh what a good boy he really is.  He really is a very smart child, just very lazy.  The couple of swats that he received sort of "reset" his brain and he has done a complete 180!  No, we don't expect it to last forever without helping him to keep his nose to the grindstone.  He has a way clearer picture of what we expect and we have a way clearer picture of what he needs to do and what we can do to help support him in his efforts.  We are very proud of him, but know he is only 13 and try not to expect more than that.  I do subscribe to the notion that "if you don't expect, you won't get" when it comes to raising children... so we need to find a happy medium where we don't expect too much but we keep on pushing to help him in his endeavors.

HHmmm..... well.... we are pretty vanilla these days so not a lot to report on that front.  Life can be good even if not every part if perfect!

Again... I want to thank all of you for your support in my family's struggle last week.  Had my head been on straight I wouldn't have probably posted that entry as I know it's such a controversial subject and unfortunately I wasn't up for a heated debate.  A big thank you to all of you who were so kind... and to those of you who just had to show your ignorance and tell me what a piece of abusive crap I am as a parent... well, you might notice they didn't get posted... that is the wonderful part of having your own blog... no one here to enforce the free speech amendment... I have my own little dictatorship here...

Life really is good!!  ((hugs))

Friday, December 2, 2011

Follow through....

There has to be consequences to our actions, I think everyone who subscribes to this lifestyle agrees with that. I also think that they need to be consequences that deter us from doing what we are being punished for.  Our son was punished last night.  You see, I didn't tell you the rest of the story from my last post, so I guess this should be titled part 2....but if you didn't read it, I think this can probably stand on it's own.

So I told you about the bad grade notice, I told you about my head nearly popping off my shoulders when I found out that he could correct his tests and didn't "need" to.. but I didn't tell you what happened after that.  Well... part of my head nearly popping off was a lot of yelling... a lot of hurt feelings...  Boy was sent outside for something and when doing that kicked a nice big dent in our metal garage about waist high.  I still don't know if he meant to do damage or if he didn't realize that it would cave like it did... but damage was done.  S says he can bend it back out... but I'm not stupid, it will never be the same.  It left a mark for us to remember every time we go to the garage.

Neither S nor I ever break things in anger... we don't hit things... we don't do that, we just don't.  I am sure he was trying something new to see how it would work for him, and we needed to make sure that it didn't work for him.  We needed to make sure that the last thing that he would do in the future when he gets angry is hit or kick something!  We explained to him the night that he did it that the following night he would be punished.  It was late and we had no energy to put into this, not the way it needed.  I'm not going into his punishment here, I know there are people out there ready to pounce on people who discipline their children and I'm not getting into any pissing contests.

We told him the night before for a few different reasons... one of them to get his head wrapped around the idea... one of the others was to for him to be bugged about it.  One of the worst parts of being punished is knowing its coming!

Last night came, S and I were very unsettled by the whole thing... we were very sad that our son had brought us to this point.  The punishment wasn't the unsettling part, it was that fact that we were here and we had never been "here" before... we had a job to do... and we needed to follow through.  It sucked to know that I had to punish my son who I love so much!  We talked first... we talked about anger and ways to work out anger besides hitting something.  We talked about domestic violence and how we are concerned for his future family if he thinks that hitting and kicking is a way to express anger and frustration.  We talked about taking responsibility... owning our own junk... it was pretty much me talking, Boy "listening" and S pacing.

Enough said... Boy had nothing to say... S sent him to his room, followed him in... punished him.  I know it was so hard for S to do, he wasn't angry but maybe a bit sad.  He would give his life for that boy, but he knew he had to make sure the boy knew that his actions were unacceptable.  The Boy played it hard... tried playing us against each other.  We were a united front, a couple of years ago we could never have been so strong... we would have never have known how important follow through really is.

I love my family... each and every one of them are so precious to me.  I do so love our children even if they do have a tendency to drive me crazy.  I so appreciate S for his roll as the head of our home, he does such a good job.  I now have a new understanding of his roll in our home and how hard it must be to punish me when I am out of line... and why he tries so hard to guide me away from problems so that he doesn't have to punish me.  He loves me... he loves all of us... and it hurts his heart to punish any of us... but I know he only does it because he loves us and wants only the best for the family.

This whole situation puts a whole new light on Dd.  It makes me realize just how hard it is for the HOH.  Sometimes its tempting to "brat" to get that spanking that we think we want when in reality our guys just want to have a wonderful Utopia where we all act the way we are supposed to without the threat of a punishment at all.  It gives me that much more incentive to be submissive to my husband, even when he doesn't act like I think a disciplinarian  should act.

All this said, that doesn't mean I won't ask respectfully for a spanking that I think I might need... a reset or even admit that I need a punishment.  I know he will oblige me... he always has.... that's his job, to make sure that his family is taken care of and if one comes to him needing help, he will go out of his way to help.

Besides, there are most generally fringe benefits to punishing me.  **wink**

 P.S. To whom it may concern... there were no teenagers marked or maimed in the writing of this blog!!

Thursday, December 1, 2011


Wow... what a week!!  Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!  Our family, most of it anyway, got together and enjoyed plenty of food... and enjoyed each other.  There were no arguments... no muss... no fuss, but then the drama addicts didn't come.  We had a beautiful time!!

AAaaahhhh.... and then back to reality.  Why do we have kids again??  I think I have had a headache all week.  We are attempting to emphasize to our 13yo boy how important grades are... he got an F notice before Thanksgiving break and so of course, being the crappy parents that we are, he has been grounded from anything that brings him pleasure since.  So, of course, we have had attitude for most of it.  Monday I emailed the teacher who is failing my son, because you know it's not his fault, it's the teachers fault.  My head is pounding from what I found out.  I found out that when these kids take a test the teacher corrects it... the student is then given the test back, then the student is allowed to correct the test for half credit.... how cool is that???  Guess what... my kid doesn't do that... says he doesn't need to since (on this particular test that we are talking about) he got a B+ and didn't need the extra points... ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????... ok, I'm calming down...

When did my boy become entitled??  While we were looking over the ads for Black Friday, boy announced that he wants a Nintendo 3DS for Christmas... and he actually said "it's only $175"  Really??  My child who is failing a class and getting C's in the rest needs a video game???

Enough of my ranting... with all this going on, I was on Face Book for a couple of winding down moments and saw the following... I can't take credit for writing it.... but I completely agree!!!!

Hope you all have a great day!!!  It's good to be back!  I've missed you all!!  (((hugs)))

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill.... Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of FORTY, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent.... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'... Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!

And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!

See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!