Thursday, July 19, 2012

Oh, I am so so pissed off!

Oh, I can't believe how mad I am right now.  I'm really not a person who gets that mad that fast... or that often as far as that goes.  I guess I'm not used to this emotion.  I don't do well with it.  Externally it looks like I shut down... I don't usually say anything in the moment because I have learned in my life that I don't like to burn bridges.  If I'm going to, I want to make darn sure that I have thought the situation through and that that is what is needed.

My blood is boiling... I am feeling completely unappreciated, taken for granted and my knee jerk reaction is to burn that bridge.  No, S is not the poor soul who could possibly receive my bite with a side of venom.  He is very patiently listening to my ranting and raving.  I don't know if you remember but I asked him to keep me accountable as far as my language is concerned.  I don't know if I will get a pardon tonight or not but my words were flying out of my mouth as if a professional sailor.  My guess is that, if the kids weren't just outside and could come in at any moment, he would probably have taken me in our room and calmed me down... the way only a man who loves a woman can with her over his knee.... yeah, that would have been effective too!

Ok, I have a client... and after being generous and kind to this couple for several years, I had to start charging a bit extra for extra services.  Last week I worked extra for them... twice... and we had negotiated that I would receive $20 for this extra service... so that meant $40 extra for last week.  Well... for one of those days they were a bit snide about the extra cost... and sarcastically I said that if it was that big of a deal not to pay me the extra.  I thought nothing more about it till today... he paid me and mentioned that even though I told him not to worry about it, he was going to split the difference with me and paid me $10 for the extra work.

Now, I know what your probably thinking... I told him not to worry about it... I know.  S sat back... after letting me rant for nearly a half hour...and even agreeing with me... he said something like 'so this is over $10?'

Wow... how a person who is sitting outside of the forest can see the trees so much better than those of us in the forest with a blindfold on!! What that meant to me, once my head quit spinning around and green crap quit spewing out everywhere, was that I was this mad over $10.  How insane was that... and once I was able to get a handle on myself, I was able to realize just exactly how much I needed to calm down and figure out if I was willing to burn this bridge over $10.  Probably not.  But man I'd like to!! ;o)

I have learned not to say that they can pay whether they want to or not... because it is a big deal.

S is so good... he is so patient... so understanding... I love him so much.... hhmmm.... I wonder how his follow through will be tonight... I'll have to let you know! ;o)

P.S.  Thank you for listening... I feel better now! xx

13 comments:

  1. Sorry, Mikki! It's so hard when things like that happen. Glad S was able to help you.

    Love,
    Kitty

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    1. Thank you Ms Kitty, your very kind! xx

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  2. I run my own business Mikki and I am absolutely astounded sometimes by how people like to nickle an dime me. Folks will go to a restaurant and without thinking leave a 20% tip, but some of my customers (and thankfully it is the minority) love to barter with me about $3 and $5 charges. LOL, all that to say that my hubby gets an earful about it some evenings. You are right, it really isn't worth getting our blood pressure up for such small stuff.

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    1. Oh Ms Susie, you so hit it on the head!! People think that if you run we own business that we just have this wonderful constant flow of money that they don't and that we can afford not to get paid here and there for what we do! I hate for you that you understand... but thank you for your comment, it is helpful to know that I'm not the only one! **huge hugs**

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  3. Hey Mikki, glad to see you back, even if you are ranting and raving :) hehe

    Dee x

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    1. Thanks Ms Dee.. it's good to be back! I'm just glad you like my ranting too! LOL

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  4. Honey, you aren't pissed over $10, you are pissed because they are taking advatage of your kind heartedness. Being a service industry myself I understand how easy it can be to let people walk all over you. It's not easy to stand up for yourself, but worth learning. Good luck.

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    1. You are so right!! It is definitely worth learning! It's just like growing up... a learning opportunity around every turn! I was able to cool down... get my mind really wrapped around it and I think I have figured out how to fix the situation assertively... win win... customers are just like children, boundaries are key and if you leave a bit of grey area anywhere that is where they will push till a hard fast rule has to be put in place!

      They are also the reason that there are so many stupid laws out there...

      Thank you nice lady for your kind words!! *hugs*

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  5. Mikki, I would speak to them again, and remind them that they HAD been advised of this charge when you negotiated it, and if they were not happy to pay, that would have been the time to speak up, not AFTER you had done the work. Therefore, if they were unhappy to pay the extra, no problem, you would continue with the other work and they could get someone else in to do the extra.
    I had this with a client too, when I increased my charge by $2 an hour, after 3 years at the same hourly rate... she said she would have to cancel me, and do it herself. I said, no problem (though I was gutted to lose the work!) but I didn't back down. 2 months later, she called and asked me back. I told her I had a new client, and could no longer fit her in. I now do her on Saturdays, because she was so desperate, and she pays me even more because it is the weekend!!!!
    Stand your ground!!!!! xxxxxxx

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    1. Thank you nice lady, I do intend on standing my ground! It will kill me to lose the client, but I think it will be worth it in the end!

      The totally sad part is that you can have 50 clients that totally appreciate you but have one dud that is a jerk and that is the only one you remember... you forget all of the wonderful people in your life! Working on that one!! ;o) Thank you for your wise advise!

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  6. Sounds like it was a lesson learned for you. I wonder if S will try to drive that point home tonight? Yikes! Good luck!

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  7. The thing is, people like that suck to work for. By giving you $10 and claiming to feel bad about not paying you what was originally agreed upon, he was trying to assuage his own guilt at doing something that wasn't right.

    Personally (not to be misconstrued as good advice lol), I would very politely give them notice that you are raising your rates.
    If they don't want to pay, then you don't have to deal with them anymore. If they do, your happy because you're getting more.

    Just my unsolicited ten cents!

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    1. Oh, I will take your 1o cents anytime! ;o) You make very good points... and I have thankfully been without seeing them for 3 days so I've been able to get my thoughts together... and yes, I have decided to raise my rates.. for them, not my other clients... and if they don't like it they can walk... course they won't... they are like children and they have to test the waters every so often!!

      Thank you for your wonderful advise nice lady!

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