Wednesday, July 25, 2012

What is Domestic Disipline... and what is it not

My fellow blogger Grace at Enjoying the Journey is looking for everyone's opinion on what Dd is and what its not.  She was looking around the web for a definition and couldn't find one that she agreed with completely... so she is wanting everyone to give their two cents worth so she can put a definition together that she agrees with.  She suggested either leaving a comment on her blog or write a post, if we are so lead.  Well, I was looking for a subject to write on and this one is a good one!  Thank you Grace!!

By the way.... this is just my opinion and the opinion of my family.  I don't expect everyone to agree with me, as I know there are going to be people, usually anonymous, who don't agree.  If you'd like to leave a comment, I'll publish it as long as it is respectful...

What is Dd to me...
First of all, Dd, Domestic Discipline has to be an agreement on both sides.  Ideally an agreement, on paper, should be written out and agreed upon.  Love and respect should be the center of not only the marriage but the Dd agreement.

You might notice that I use Dd as opposed DD.  Last year sometime, Sara at Finding Sara pointed it out on her blog, that she uses Dd, the capital letter stands for her husband, or HOH.  The small letter stands for herself, lower case, submissive.  I liked that, and so I have used it ever since.  Now that is not to be confused with one being more important and one being less important.  In a healthy Dd relationship, the HOH has the important job to guide the family and that includes his mate.... but the submissive wife also has a very important job... to submit and be guideable.

The HOH has more jobs than to just be "the boss".  He is the protector of the family, keeping everyone safe.  Sometimes that means keeping us safe from ourselves.  That is where "rules" originate.  I don't really see them as rules.... I see them as guidelines so that we stay safe.  IMHO....there are times when the HOH has to correct his submissive wife.  It doesn't always have to be spanking.... I'd like to think that a compassionate will give a warning.  If the warning doesn't produce the correct response, there are other forms of punishment.  Some have their wife write a letter of apology or acknowledgement of the offence.  I have heard that there are some who, when the offence is produced by the mouth, use soap in the mouth.  Some use corner time... and yes, some spank their submissive wife.   There are no set rules, so there are as many ways to practice Dd as there are couples who practice Dd.

The submissive wife is not to be a slave to the HOH.  She, in our home, is to take care of the family, the home and the HOH.  She is not expected to be perfect.  She is, however, expected to have a good attitude, and to try her best to follow the guidelines, which is also to respond correctly to her HOH.  That is not to say that she isn't going to have bad days... we aren't perfect, we are human!

We are all human.... HOH and submissive wife alike.  Inconsistency from our HOH a subject that many talk about.  So many of us have blogged about wanting our HOH to be more consistent and I'm sure that if more men blogged, they might complain about the same thing about us.  It's just a thought... I'm just saying....

Dd is also a lot of work... required by all!!

What Dd is not....

Dd is not abusive!  Dd is not unkind!  Dd is not unrealistic!  Dd is not slave ownership!  Dd does not condone rape!  Dd is not disrespectful!

Wow.... I guess that is all I have for now!  I had a really good time thinking of how I think Dd should go... but again, there are as many ways to practice Dd as there are couples.


  1. Great definition.

    And i liked the part about if they blogged they would say we're inconsistent too. I think that's very true.

    thanks for sharing.

    1. Thank you for your kind words! I know I'm one of the offenders who complain about my husbands inconsistency but looking inward... I'm just as guilty!

  2. I like your definitions, Mikki. And, what you said is so very true - "there are as many ways to practice Dd as there are couples." :)

  3. I enjoyed reading this Mikki! Thanks for taking the time and effort to write it! And I'm glad my post suggestion came at an opportune time for you! ;)

    Would you mind posting a link to this post in the comments under my post. I am going to compile all the comments and links to posts in another post and I want to be sure that everyone is included.

    Also, I'll not be putting together a definition that I agree with. Instead I will be merely sharing the varying opinions and that will allow others to take from them what is helpful and appropriate to them and leave the rest. ;)

    Thanks again! :)

    1. Yes, I'll put a link in your comments. Thank you for your inspiration... I really needed to think about this! *hugs*

    2. I'm afraid I was impatient and already added a link to your post in my comments. Ooops! Feel free to still comment there if you'd like though. ;)

  4. Sounds like you nailed it to me.

  5. Enjoyed reading your views Mikki :)

    Dee x

  6. Great job and explanations, Mikki!

  7. I liked having so many other definitions out there already so I could just focus on my specific situation. Thank you for this definition! I think we put something neat together. :)