OMG.... in the light of day I'm wondering what the heck I've gotten myself into!! You gotta be careful what you ask for, you just might get it!!
A couple of days ago I posted about how I didn't know if we would continue practicing spanking because I didn't think S was into it. Well... last night we went to bed... had some pretty hot intimate playtime together.. and after I was just really thinking about all the feedback that I received from all of you who commented and told me that I just need to talk to him... tell him how I feel. I have done that before... we have had several conversations.... I have sent him several emails.... and he always seemed very on board with the whole him/boss and me/not boss thing. His biggest draw back to spanking is that I don't really screw up. Not to say that I'm perfect and walk on water.... I do what I know he likes.... I try to (not always successfully) take care of business.
What I think he has a hard time understanding is that while I don't necessarily like the pain of a spanking... I love where it puts my heart and my head. I love how submissive I feel. I love feeling like Joan Cleaver (minus the pearls and lovely attire). I love that my kids can just tell that everything is right with the world. Mom is happy... everybody is happy!
I digress... anyway.... I brought up the subject yet again.... "I miss being spanked"
"I miss spanking you"
"HHmmm.... then I think we need to start again.... what did you think of the email I sent you the other day?" I sent him FindingSara Submission Exercises: What we do post that covered a multitude of things including the need to be spanked...she also linked to a post that Grant had written back in '09 A question on submission exercises Both are great posts!! I'm thankful to men like Grant and FloridaDom who are well educated men who are willing to share their experiences and help other men... and women... learn their way along the path called ttwd!!
"I read it... it made sense"
"So are you up for something like that?"
"Yeah, but what about the kids?"
"They will be asleep..." and then I told him where at the other end of the house we could go....
"Hhhmm.... that could work"
"Ok... so it's settled.... how about Monday and Thursday evenings...." I had really been thinking on this and wanted to make sure to be prepared with what would work with our schedules.... and had also realized that we needed a specific day... not just say every couple of days because that just has never worked.
"I think that will work"
"Ok... now I have to put this out there... we have gotten to this point before... you have agreed... we have made plans but it never comes to pass. So... do I need to remind you?" Yep... I went there... it had to be said! I know, from almost 17 years of marriage, that is man would do anything for me, whenever I needed him to... but I have to ask. I have to say it out loud. He is a highly intelligent man, just can't remember crap! LOL
After a moment of thought "Just say 'it's time' and I'll know" I have fought for a long time against reminding him... I have always felt that if I had to remind him that he really didn't want to do it.... that he would just be going through the motions... now he is telling me as my HOH to tell him when it is time... hhmmm I guess I should consider this my first "rule".... I guess it's all in how you look at it!!!
Wow... how cool is that! We have a plan. It just proves that we ladies can get a certain picture in our heads as to how we think ttwd should look... the part we forget is how it's gonna look in our HOH's head. We women think so much differently than our men and we forget to interject their thoughts into our pictures that we have dreamed about. Once we do that... we get what we call reality! I guess if I have to say it out loud, then that is one of those things that I have to do.
I want to take a moment to thank everyone who took time out of their day to care enough to comment and share a bit of advise! Again... my cyber family ROCKS!!!
I'll keep ya posted on our "reassurance" progress! ((hugs))