Thursday, July 28, 2011
Happy Anniversary to Us!
My hubby and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary this last Tuesday... had a quiet dinner... no kids, so it's was really quiet. ;o) It's not always been the best ride in town... but I wouldn't trade this ride for love nor money. We have had some ups and downs... and the struggle to stay married in this day in age isn't always fun when everyone is getting divorced because it's easier than fixing what is broken. I am S's second wife... he is my first and only hubby. I'm not saying that he married the wrong one the first time, maybe a little young... not saying it was all her fault because I understood about 3 months into our marriage why they got divorced!! LOL Takes two to make a marriage and two to break one. To be quite honest, if we hadn't found ttwd we very well could have been in the ranks of the failed marriages tossed to the side these days.
I'm not really sure what happened in the early years. I know that I was advised by friends and family what marriage was supposed to look like. I was supposed to get my way all the time and things were supposed to be perfect all the time. There wasn't supposed to be any struggles... I was supposed to be right all the time and he was supposed to just smile and make sure that I was happy all the time. Wow... no wonder I was so unhappy all those years! I had been lied to!! I'm not even sure how I came across ttwd on the net... I know I was searching... not really sure what exactly I was searching for... but when I found it I knew that was exactly what we needed! What I needed. He didn't have any problems... really. Well.... I guess that's not exactly true.. his main problem was that he couldn't get any sex. I felt that I was doing it all and sex was just one more chore on my list of things to do in a day! Not a very nice way of looking at things, I know, but we weren't always that nice to each other. There were things I wanted and he wouldn't do for me... but he would have if it were a friend that needed something... I think we can all appreciate this at one time or another.
I have no idea how this spanking thing works... the only thing thing that I can think is because it puts my mindset where it has never been, where it belongs! My S doesn't ask me to do very many specific things, but what he does ask of me, I take very seriously. Don't get me wrong... I have daily chores that I do... not because he has told me to but that I know these are the things I need to do to run a happy household... and I know that is what my HOH likes... and bottom line, I like him to be happy. By taking them seriously... doing what he asks in a timely manner... it shows him the respect that he deserves, and therefore makes him feel like the HOH. I have found that while I'm to be submissive... I also have so much power over how S feels and how he feels depends on how good he is at his job as my HOH.
I used to call all the shots. I don't know why except for the fact that he didn't seem to have an opinion. What I said was usually ok with him. When we started ttwd, he started leaving the light on in the bedroom during our intimate time... and it was all I could do not to insist that he turn off the light. I am getting over it by remembering that he is my loving HOH and that he doesn't ask much from me... and if this is all that he wants from me in a day... and I gave it to him willingly and without an argument... what a good little wifey I must be! It is kind of a turn on, truth be known. It's a bit humiliating.. which, of course, makes love making very hot!! I think he is slowly and surely deciding that he kind of likes calling a few of the shots.
I still make most of the decisions in our house. Not because I'm trying to run him, but I'm his House Manager. That is my job to run the house and make it smooth so he doesn't have to. The last say is his... and if I'm not really sure how he would want something done... I'll ask... and most generally he doesn't care... but I know he likes being consulted. Not a lot of my day has changed since ttwd began in our home... except for my attitude and our sex life... which are two very huge parts. My attitude is the one thing that I can really control.. and as long as I can keep that in check.... seems everything else just falls into place.