Thursday, September 22, 2011
I think I'm needing to be taken...
But then I'm thinking he needs to take me in hand too!!
In bed, there are no problems... we know who is who... we are ying and yang. We are what the other needs. We have owned each other long enough to know what the other wants... and have also loved each other long enough to know it's ok to guide the other in another direction if needed... and the other follows. No problems here. We both get caressed... we both get what we need... I feel very loved, sexy, erotic, needed, desired.
And then we have to get out of bed in the morning. Feelings of neglect. Not always... not even every day... but often enough to be able to see a pattern. I just want him to show affection toward me outside of the bedroom. Does that make any kind of good sense? As much love as I get in our bed you would think that would be enough... I'm starting to feel like a spoiled brat and I don't want to want more than what I have coming.
I want to be cooking dinner and he come up behind me and put his hands around my waist, nibble on my neck and tell me that he loves me. I want him to tell me that he loves me instead of saying "I love you too". When we sit next to each other in a booth in our favorite restaurant, I want him to put his hand on my leg instead of me always putting my hand on his. I want him to flirt with me. Not in a nasty way... in a way that is like code between the two of us.
Then I think of Daisychain who never gets to see her man!! How does she do this?? She gets to see her guy like once a year... wow... she is a good woman. She knows Davey loves her even though he can't do these things for her.
Then there is Ms Stormy. Her guy is gone a lot for work. Not that he would want to be away, but it's work. You gotta work! How do they do it? I think he flirts with her when they are together... I don't know how she does it either. He's fairly heavy handed and I don't know that I would handle that well. You are a good woman Stormy!
There are so many of you ladies that live the same way... so many of these men are gone and still you are good women to keep the home fires burning!!
My guy just "checks out" while we are in the same room. I love him... but it's an odd feeling to be lonely with the one you love in the same room.
Spankings help us connect. It forces him to be present... reminds me to be respectful even when he does "checks out". He is still the guy in charge even when he's not "present".In his defense, he is struggling to get his head wrapped around this new world called college... and he has always struggled with depression (at least he doesn't fight taking his meds anymore!!)
I'm thinking I'm needing a spanking... not that I want one.... but I need one... we both need one. I need to connect to S in a serious way... not so much connect our bodies, we stay nicely connected nearly every night! We don't even really need to connect our souls because they are connected at all times. Our hearts... no that's not it... our hearts are connected...you don't have wonderful lives like our without our hearts being tight.
I know what it is.... His hand needs to connect soundly to my behind and it will bring it all together.