Monday, September 5, 2011

I've been inspired!

I've been struggling with this blog for a week now... mainly because nothing much has happened.  Nothing.  Ok... we have had a week... a good week... but not a spanking week.  Reading my favorite blogs have brought to the front of my head what I've been mulling over, but didn't realize I was mulling.... anyway... thank you Sara and Stormy... you are both such inspirations!!  Thanks for making me think!! ;o)

I think I'm ok with not being spanked... as I have just recently said out loud that I'm very turned on by the thought of being spanked... but that they hurt and I don't like that.  S chuckled at me and said they are supposed to hurt.

I guess he's right, they are supposed to hurt.  So why do I forget that when I'm daydreaming about getting one?  I do forget.. ok... I don't forget... who could forget the sting that comes from a wooden spoon... the thud from a very pretty hairbrush... the loud smack of a flat hand on alternating butt cheeks.  Is it like giving birth to our beautiful babies?  Why in the world would a person go through child birth more than once... evidently we forget the pain.

Do we really forget?  My first born.... he is a pain in my a$$ now being a tween and he was a pain in everything down that way then... he ripped me from stem to stern when he was born.  It was honestly 18 months before I could enjoy sex with S the old fashioned way.  So, with all that pain... why in the world would I would have wanted #2???  I love my children... would give my life for either of them... but the pain... how do we get to a point where we are willing to get through it again??

Its for the reward.  The reward of going though child birth is the chance to love a nothing else in this world.  Raising a child is not the easiest... but the reward is beyond what any words can describe.  Each stage has it's own challenges but also it's own rewards.  Raising anything else could not compare to loving and raising a child.  Then they become grown and they might, just might, bless you with the only thing that could even come close to compare to having a child... grandbabies!!

Ok.... so spankings... there must be reward.  Of course there is.  S and I have never been closer but since we have started Dd.  Before Dd there were times that I despised him.  I don't know why, but I did.  He didn't seem to care about much... he didn't seem to engage... I was lonely in the same room with him.  I ran the house... I made the decisions.... what I said was pretty much law.   If S said something... the kids would look at me to see if I would give the nod that what he was saying was actually what was going to be.  It had be "ok'd".  Looking at it in minds eye, why would anyone not want that set up.  I get what I want or else.

So why would I want to give it all up??  Why would anyone want to give up getting their way most all the time?  I'm sometimes not really sure... but I do know that I was very lonely back then.  Oh, my kids and I have always enjoyed each other.  We would function as a single parent home with 2 children and a warm body in the recliner.  This makes me very sad to see in print... but it was true.  S didn't do much but work and watch the TV.  The kids would love him on their way to bed... and he did love them... and he loved me.... I don't know why things were like they were but they were.

The rewards of spanking for the spankee...hhmmm.... I have a closeness with my S that I have never ever had before.  I have a HOH now.  I have guidelines in which to live my daily life.  Guidelines that have been discussed between me and my S.  Discussion... communication... things that I have now that I get spankings.  I always felt that I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders... because I did.  The price that I paid for getting everything the way I wanted was to do it myself... by myself.  That is not what I wanted or I would have stayed single.  S has the last word now.  I can bring to him respectfully what I think maybe a way that might be better, and sometimes he agrees... and sometimes he doesn't.

Passion... never have we had more passion in our bed... when my HOH puts me over his knee and makes sure that I know he is there to make sure I know who the boss is.  He has compassion for me because he knows that the spanking hurts but that it not only helps to bring us closer together, but it also is a stress reliever that works better than any drug or cocktail.  He is the boss.  He holds me in position, holding me tight, knowing he will keep me safe.  I'm even safe when I'm being spanked.  He would never "hurt" me.

Reward to spankers... there must be plenty or they wouldn't do it... Just saying!  I believe that S does get rewards from spanking me because he acts so much differently.  He is engaged... all the time, not just when he is spanking me.  He get's aroused because he is very attentive after the spanking... and very passionate too.  I think he likes being in charge.  He would never admit to it... and he doesn't like having to do the tedious things that I have to do to keep the house running... he does like to choose the direction that we are going...

I am so in love with my S.  I'm so thankful that he spanks me.  I hate that it hurts.  But I love that S is taking an active part in our lives and if a spanking is what it takes... and following him where he goes is what I have to do...I'm there!!


  1. I agree Mikki. I hate that it hurts too, but I love what it has done for us. Nothing else that we've tried has worked like this does. There are great rewards and the closeness alone is so much better than living like roommates in the same house. That said, why do they all use the same "it's supposed to hurt hon" when we complain? It's like they've all had an original thought. Sheesh!

  2. Brilliant post, Mikki! I identify with most of this!
    The way you describe your marriage before dd sounds similar to my first marriage, in that I was the one who ran things...alone. I made all the decisions, decided on decor, holidays, schools for the kids, everything...wasn't fun.
    As we have both discovered, ;) there is a much more effective way to live! xxxxx

  3. Mikki, in many ways so much of what you have written was my story too...the running of the house, the kids, the in charge wife...except that my husband never accepted the role of recliner sitter and fought with me. I exhausted myself and him. I thought I was supposed to run things, to never allow him to take charge, but it wore me out, and destroyed the respect and thus the intimacy between us. There were other issues, but in terms of the power dynamics, they were just backwards. I'm glad you've found your way...many people never do, and don't know what went wrong. We're both very lucky, you and I! Sara

  4. @Susie... Yeah... they all think they have all these original ideas! LOL S picked up one of our son's arrows(with no tip) and kinda whacked it on his hand like a very thick cane... like he was the very first that ever thought of that! LOL He is very much like a kid in a candy shop sometimes!

    @Daisey... I'm so glad we have found a better way to live... and I am equally sorry that you lived the way I did! Not fun!

    @Sara... No... S and I have never really fought, there was just this undertow that anyone could feel, but no sound. I'm also glad for you and I both that we have found our way!! Again... Happy Anniversary!

  5. Thanks for this post. It was very insightful!!

  6. Thank you for dropping by Emily! Thank you for's always nice to see new "faces"!

  7. Good post Mikki. Happy you've found your way.