She's Worth Her Weight in Silver!

Woo Hoo!!  All I can say!!  My world got rocked last night and I just absolutely couldn't help but share!!

Before I get into the juicy details of the use of the brush... I have to tell a few other details that maybe aren't juicy but thought you might like to know.  I am a Ebay shopper.  Don't know how many of you are but I absolutely love it!  I live in Hicksville, USA.  We have no mall.  The closest thing we have to it is Walmart.  We have little boutiques and antique stores on the square but they either don't have what I'm looking for or higher than a cat's a$$ (as S would say).  I even shop Ebay for Christmas stuff... if we want unique... that is where we go.  Anyway... I'm also very thrifty... S says I'm cheap.  I'm the household manager so I'm the one who has to make sure that the bills get paid and have to answer to him if they don't.

Anyway....Ebay.... I got this wonderful vintage brush with a very nice comb for all total $15 with shipping and handling.  I was so proud!  Very pleased!!   We were impressed how heavy it is!  At first I was thinking it was a bit short... not a concern!!   It's only 7" long... but not a problem for S! ;-)   Makes for a very intimate spanking!

Juicy.... S took us out to dinner... he and I.. that would be so romantic... but we got to take our 12 yo son with us! LOL  I know ... you thought it would be the usual romantic dinner... nope!  It was my favorite Mexican spot so no complaints here!!  We hung out at home the rest of the evening... family stuff.  Sent the boy to bed around 9:30 so he would be good and asleep by the time we went to bed an hour later.  (M-F we all start our days at 5:45am... so even kids are wienies on Friday night.. lol)

I took my shower on the way to bed... and as I'm walking into our room... S asks where HIS new brush was.  I have to say that just made me melt.  I am like most of you... always wondering if your guy really wants to do ttwd or if you are shoving it down his throat.  So when he asked for HIS new brush... I was ecstatic!  I handed it over... and we got into bed and cuddled for a while.  I had been with him all day but I missed his touch so badly.  I just wanted to melt into his arms.  We kissed.... caressed... found neglected parts that needed attention.  S is so generous... especially in love making... always wanting to make sure to pleasure before being pleasured.  After we were done... I remembered our new friend, the brush.  Oh... no... I thought it would have to wait agian... but he remembered.

S had me lay over his lap... I asked that he be gentle as we had no idea how this new found implement, that was so pretty, would work on my butt!!  He promised to be gentle.  I had been good... I wasn't really needing to be punished or anything... just a little test drive... a bit of reminding who was who.   He rubbed my behind... we both love that.  Then he laid the brush on my warm skin... oh it was a bit chilly... but felt nice rubbing over my skin.  He then began by just lifting it and  letting it fall on my skin with its own weight... nice.  He warmed me up quite nicely like that... then put a bit more into it.... not much... just enough.  I was in the mood to just be with him... no need to cry or relieve any stress... it was perfect.

My S definitely knows how to drive a brush!  I do like the thud... I don't get into the sting for pleasure.  Punishment a person really has no choice what you get.... but for pleasure... this will be my tool of choice!  I think I would take his hand over the brush, but his hand makes too much noise.  The brush was perfectly quiet!  We have been searching for this wonderful new friend for a long time.. Thank you Sugar!!  Your guy has wonderful taste!!

I Love Getting Toys in the Mail!!

ROCK ON!! I went and got the mail, and low and behold I got a package. I ripped open my package, knowing exactly what it is, but I wanted to feel it... look at it... imagine with it. S is going to be so excited, he's been asking about it. He knew I had ordered it... last week he told me to order it after I told him how several had said that this was so quiet.

I got my vintage silver plated hair brush. I love antiques! I even love stuff that just looks old...hence one of the things that attracted me to S!*giggling* I can't wait till he gets home!

OOppsss... gotta run! Spent too much time trying to get the picture like I wanted it! LOL

Have a great day! Hope I'll be back with a wonderful story or two! *wink*

Working My Behind Off!

You know... there are so many of us out here in Dd blogland that don't want to cause our men any "discomfort" or put them out in any way. We work our behinds off (yes, pun intended) to "fix" ourselves. We want to bring ourselves up to par for our guys. We want to make ourselves "worthy" of their love. I think these are honorable goals...

I, for one, have completely overhauled my attitude. He is the Man. I want him to be nothing but happy and impressed with me. I try my hardest to not cause him grief. I want his time at home with me and the kids to be enjoyable. I want him to look forward to coming home. My mom used to gripe and complain at my dad, no wonder he didn't want to come home... and then it wasn't pleasant when he did.. for any of us.

No one made me change my mindset that I now have for my husband thanks to Dd, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I did this willingly and without force. As a matter of fact, I am the one who took it to him and asked if he was interested. I'm not upset at the time of the writing.... I'm stating facts that most of us can agree that they too have witnessed in themselves.

If I'm upset with anyone, I'm irritated at myself. Now I know that it takes as much effort for some men to step up and be the boss as it does for us ladies to submit to them. I'm kinda yanked at myself for not realizing that the bridge between us, in this process, is asking him for help in our transformation. I knew this... but a person forgets and then has to be reminded, buy fellow bloggers... like Sara and Hermione... thank you ladies.

We went to bed last night, my heart was in it, always is, but I just couldn't get my mind into it. I wasn't mad... but I knew we had to talk, I just didn't know how I was going to bring it up. He did end up getting my mind and body into "it". We laid there after. Small talk is a little irritating when you have something on your mind.

Turn over, I'll scratch your back.

How come.

Cuz that's what I do...

Oh, ok... yeah, you do don't you.. Kissed me goodnight and turned over.

So, I need to talk to you about something.

What did I do?

Nothing... there doesn't always have to have guilt attached to a conversation, does there?

Oh, no I guess not... what's up?

I don't know how else to tell you this... but I need my maintenance spankings that we talked about to keep my mind wrapped around this thing...(attempted to go on and on with all these reasons)

(interupting) Ok.

What do you mean ok?

I mean ok... the only problem I have is logistics. Where and when so we don't get caught... I'd love to spank you, I just don't know when and where.

Oh.. so you love spanking me... it's not a chore?

Hell no... I love it... just don't know how to work it out with the kids so we don't have an audience.

HHmmm... you mean you don't hate spanking me?? We can work out the details... I just thought it was work for you and I didn't want you to hate it... I thought it was a chore for you

(turning over and taking me into his arms) Oh baby, I never meant to make you feel like that...(fell asleep)

I don't know why I have to make it so much work. There were so much sweat and tears that went into the introduction of that conversation, I really should have lost like 5lbs!! LOL

Needing help from my fellow bloggers...

Ever feel like you just need a spanking? I know you have... I've read about the times when the HOH was supposed to give a spanking and then doesn't. Sucks. I'm feeling a bit snippy. I'm not feeling kept. I'm feeling like I have to do all the things that is required of me, but not getting any of the little perks. Maybe I need a nap. There is too much to do for me to be able to take a nap.

I'm the manager of our house.... not the Boss. Maybe I should send the Boss a memo that all employees need to be taken in hand. Again... like so many of you.... don't want to tell him how to do his job... So how do you get what you need without telling him how to do his job.

He blames the kids. No it's not their fault... he says they are around and might hear. Doesn't seem to feel the need to find some sort of alternative. I have a wonderful imagination and have read so many blogs that I have some wonderful ideas on how and where.

I was supposed to get a maintenance on Monday... this is Thursday... I even mentioned it Sunday and he was glad that I had reminded him because he had forgotten. Monday came.... he didn't want to use the only quiet implement that we have because he said I don't like it... am I stupid or is that kinda the point?? Just feeling a bit jipped.

He is yet another HOH who doesn't read blogs... I'm thinking that I need to introduce him. Not sure that is such a wonderful idea. :o) I know I need to be careful what I ask for, I just might get it!!

I love my S. I love him more than anything in this world. I'm looking forward to struggling through the empty nest thing together. I'm looking forward to growing older and wiser together. I know this is just a little bump in the road... and that I need to enjoy the process. I do, most of the time. I would say even like 99.4% of the time I couldn't be happier... or more content with my life with my man. I'm just feeling a bit glitchy today.

Do any of you have any suggestions as to how to get a bit of privacy, or maybe an implement that is quiet but yet gets the job done. What are your thoughts....

To Tell or Not To Tell...

I've been thinking this weekend on this blog... and am not really sure if I'm ready to tackle such a thought... but I'm a planner.  I'm not OCD in the thought that I have to have every minute of every day... but I like to have some sort of idea what my opinion is on stuff... you know...

Anyway... I'm wondering about our kids.  Is there a time when we will share our lifestyle with our kids?  I'm not talking about what goes on in our bedroom behind closed doors.  I'm talking about... do we ever tell them about Dd?  I wish I had known about this lifestyle when I was younger... don't know what I would have thought had my parents told me about it.

We do teach our children to be respectful of elders.  We do teach our son to treat girls well... I plan to teach my daughter to be submissive to her husband by the way I act towards her daddy.   S is teaching the boy how to treat future ladies in his life by how he treats me.  I know that we teach our kids by example.... I don't plan to tell my kids about ttwd right now when they are 8 and 13.... but has anyone come to the point where you have told your children about ttwd?  Or friends... anyone ever see someone struggling like we used to, floundering around like a carp on land before we found Dd?

I have a very close friend (vanilla) who I would love to share this information with.  Not that I necessarily think she and hers is struggling... I just wonder sometimes how she might react.  I think she would take it well because I have told her a couple of things about my past that I haven't ever shared with anyone else but S.

What are your thoughts??  I'd really appreciate them!

Have a great day!

Power

I think we are all always looking for a new turn on... a new fix...a new something that arouses us the way we haven't before!  When you are married for 15 years in a ho-drum life and all of a sudden have found the answers to prayers.... it's all a turn on!  A lot of times you see, hear or smell something that is totally non sexual and it turn you on beyond any reason!!

Yesterday a friend emailed me and asked if I had a certain movie in our collection of DVDs so I got the case out and browsed.  After seeing that I didn't have it, I set the case on the floor beside me to put away later.  S said "put it away now".. not ugly.. not mean... stern.  I don't have a problem with not putting stuff away, so I was for a second not understanding why he would act that way... till I looked at him and he had that look like,- cuz I'm the boss-looks.  I was instantly turned on!  I decided to play his game, got up and put them away.  After we played around that night I asked him what that was all about and he asked "did it turn you on?"  HHmmm..... yeah... it did.  He said.. "thats what it was about"!  He's getting it!!  Yeah!!

Lights on...during play time.  Ever since we have started ttwd he has left his light on.  Never did I "allow" the lights be on our first 15 years and since I have asked him to be my HOH the lights have been on.  I haven't fought it.  At first I was feeling very humiliated so that was a bit of a turn on in it's own right.  I have to say that sometimes I just wish we could turn them off.... but I have found that is when I get tired.  No wonder we rarely had sex... the lights go off and I fall asleep... no wonder I was always so tired!!  I vowed that I wouldn't turn him down now that he was the guy running the show... yet another turn on!  He might be a born leader after all!!

He is really liking it when I ask him what he thinks.  I always made all the decisions and he didn't care.  He does now... about nearly everything!  It feels good... it feels warm... it feels moist!! *wink*

Now, why was I fighting so hard for power before??  HHhhmmmm.... my guess is I had no idea how wonderful it feels to be powerless... to be submissive  I have to make this short today... he has given me my first "chore" and it needs to be done before he gets home!  God I love ttwd!!

Secrets about Capsaicin Cream

We have kids... most of us do.  How hard is it to get a decent spanking with those little buggars around??   I'm always trying to find ways to receive what I need, keeping ttwd under wraps from the children.  I have to say that I read nearly everything I can about ttwd and spankings.  I read it... mull it over... if I like it, I read more and most generally make a post from my own blog.  If I don't like it or don't agree with a blog, I will move on.  Simple enough.  I have come across a blog that has some interesting thoughts, as they all do.  Learning Domestic Discipline has addressed the subject that not many do... the silent spanking... Capsaicin Cream.

I have to say that the first time S applied this cream to my behind, I didn't feel a thing.  Honestly.  I did get a nice massage from my guy but that was all.  Very disappointing!  Not impressive.  I went back to the LDD blog and there were several there that had used it and some attested to have had their butts set afire by this cream.  So you will understand how disappointed I was when it didn't work for me?

Last night I happened to see the tube of Capsaicin on hubby's night stand.  I asked if he was up to trying it again... sure enough he told me to roll over.  Very nice massage.  I have to say that he did massage it in more than he did last time.  He also used more this time, but then wiped it off after we thought it wasn't working.  I have to say that I think that I have some information about this cream:

    1.  Make sure that the person receiving the cream isn't allergic...I'd even go so far as to try a very small test spot if they don't know... I'd hate for someone put this all over a behind and end up being too sensitive to it!

    2.  A dab will do ya... don't use so little that it doesn't do anything... it isn't battery acid or anything like that... it takes a few minutes for it to start to work... at least it did for me anyway.

    3.  Massage it in... S really massaged my hinney, working it in.  He even wiped off any excess after he rubbed it in because we didn't think it was going to work.

    4.  Cover it up...  The first time we used it, I went to sleep shortly after... unclothed and sleeping on my belly... there was no weight on it... no covers but the sheet.  Last night I slept naked but I woke up in the night laying on my back... my behind on fire!! :o)  This morning, I'm wearing loose fitting shorts... When standing and walking not much sensation... but when sitting... it feels like I got a very good spanking last night!

    5 CAUTION... We didn't... but do make sure NOT to let any of thing on any personal parts!!!  I can only imagine how this would feel if it were to end up inside or on a piece of anatomy that it isn't supposed to be!  For this reason, make sure that the person administering this cream washes their hands completely!

** NOT A BAD IDEA TO APPLY WITH GLOVES! VERY HARD TO WASH COMPLETELY OFF!!*


I didn't post this because I thought LDD didn't do a good job.... I was very glad to hear of this and to experiment with a new product.  I did want to let everyone know how if  felt because he didn't really cover that part.  What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.  I don't think that this Capsaicin will probably kill anyone, it will, however, keep your mind where it needs to be! *grin*

What a reminder...

I think a lot of us who are trying to be submissive in our marriages have a love/hate relationship with maintenance spankings.  I, for one, have always thought that "maintenance" spankings would be important in a Dd relationship.  Who likes to be spanked for no reason, right?  I don't like being spanked, but I love the feelings that we both get from them.

When I brought up ttwd to S, way back when, he said it all sounded good... that he was up for it and was  interested in it... but he said that I don't really screw up that much and he had a problem with spanking  when I didn't do anything wrong.  I guess I understand where he is coming from... but I told him that I was less likely to "brat" if I had regular spankings, as a reminder of who is exactly in charge!  This did make sense to him, and he agreed to do it... but it has never been done... till last night.  Be careful what you ask for... you just might get it!  Oowee...

I am a good girl.  I try very hard to please S.  I love the way our marriage has taken a completely new direction. I am still the house "manager"... I run it.  I run my business that I have in our home and for the most part nothing has really changed since we started Dd.  What has changed is our mindset.  Every once in a while he will make a comment about something that he thinks should be different in our home.  Now he has always been the type of person that doesn't have much to say...  but is beginning to voice his opinion more and more every day.  When he "suggests" something, I really take it to heart and think it through and implement his suggestion.  I keep reminding myself "he is the boss"... and I tell him that too... even call him that kiddingly sometimes too! This seems to help him remember that he is in charge, and I think he is enjoying it more and more everyday!!

Last night before my "reminder", he made sure that I knew what time he wanted me to wrap things up so that I could be to bed on time.  I knew what was coming because we discussed it the night before... we decided that every Monday night he would remind me who is boss... until that doesn't work for us and then we would adapt as necessary.  I have to say it was quite a turn on, him telling me when I needed to head to bed... ask if I had taken my medication for the evening... that sort of thing.  Now do understand that I don't always need to be micromanaged but I like it every once in a while...  especially since this isn't his nature... I know he is guiding me, and I am obliged to make him feel like the HOH that I want him to be!

Anyway... maintenance.. I have to agree, I don't like the name.  We call them "reminders".    It wasn't intense.. not horrible... I didn't feel like I was being punished.  I felt loved, submissive, guided.  After, he held me, rubbed me and told me how much he loves me.  He treats me so much better than he "used to".  I will take a spanking every day if it means that we don't go back to how we used to treat each other.

I used to get my way... or did I?

Well it happened... and I was NOT impressed.  I'm feeling better now but it was definitely a struggle to get over it.  I don't usually get that upset with S anymore.  He is usually helpful, calm, generous and generally a good guy.  When he goes to town, he asks if I need anything... that sort of thing.

Tonight we get to have date night... the kids are going to a friends house and so we get to go out.  I was wanting to do something that we haven't done in a while and stumbled onto what is playing in the movies, and there are two playing that he wanted to see.  So I invited him to go and I think he is actually excited... which is in itself unlike him. I was thinking we'd go to the 7o'clock movie.. but with the running that I needed to do, there was no way we could do that and dinner and make it to the movie... the 9:30 never even crossed my mind, but evidently that is what S had in mind.  Well, I was excited too because last night he promised me a spanking tonight, first in a while, and it's sounding pretty good!  I don't get spanked very often due to the privacy factor... too many kids, too little non kid time!

S was headed to town for a couple of his own errands.. and since he most generally asks if I need anything I started a small list.  He, in only the way he can, proceeded to put me off.  He started telling me how he didn't know where the candy was... and that I can get the other stuff at the store tomorrow... blah, blah....ok.  I have to say that at first I was way ok with this and said that we would just go to the 9:30 movie.

Well the longer I thought about it after he left... the madder I got.  How dare he not do this little thing for me.  How many times a day to I do things for him that I don't necessarily want to do.  And what is he gonna do the rest of the day but sit in his recliner and I have to work and he doesn't want to pick up a few things for me?  GGRrrrr..... not impressed!

Then I remembered... ttwd.  He is the boss.  I'm not anymore.  Wow... this can really suck sometimes.  Now why did I give up all my power?  Why did I promise not to fight over stuff like this anymore?  I had to calm myself down.  I had to figure out what I was gonna do about this because the state that my head was in, date night was really gonna suck.

I then remembered why we do ttwd.... because I don't want to end up like my parents.  My parents brought our son back last week from a 3 week visit with them and then stayed for a few days.  They were pretty pissy.  I thought maybe our boy had made them mad or something... and then I figured it out.... they were fighting again.  They fought all the time when I was growing up... about everything.   They both had very good reasons for being mad, most generally.  The reason she was always mad was because he was never home.  The reason he was always mad was because she was mad at him for not being home.  Wonderful childhood!  So they come to my house... and force us to be subjected to their bickering.  Not impressive.  Really, what she needs is a good otk spanking that would rock her world... but what he needs to do is to stand up and be a man who deserves respect instead of a punk that needs throw word punches.  No one deserves abuse.... not us and not them.

S came home... and I have to say that it took all the will power that I have not to light into him... and be a crabby little snot because I had worked myself into quite a little tissy.  Fortunately for me, and my bottom, I had gotten too busy with the kids to bring up the subject right away, and by the time I had time to chat with him about my upsetness... it was 5:00.... and I was done with work!  Off an hour earlier than I expected!  I was so happy!

With the kids gone, I got in the shower and was getting ready to go out when hubby came in and had other plans. He took me by the hand to our bedroom where he proceeded to show me what a good girl I was for not throwing a fit!  He is such a wonderful lover.... slow and tender... making sure that I gave him each and every climax that I had to give.  His tongue finding each spot with with the expertise of a marksman, knowing just exactly what he would get with the flicker of each button.... and his tongue finding my butt button sent me to places only he knows about!  After he extracted each and every climax from my body, he laid next to me... after recovering a moment... I found his throbbing member and hungrily sucked it in like I hadn't eaten in weeks.  Licking and sucking his cock and balls all the while he was slapping my bottom for being the good girl that I was.  Heaven is where I was... being spanked by my true love for letting him be my HOH...  

It took us so long to get ready to go that we decided to still go to the 9:30... and I'm so glad we did.  We were able to leisurely eat dinner, go to a couple of stores.... laughing and enjoying each others company.  I couldn't have asked for a more enjoyable time.  We never had times like we enjoyed tonight before Dd... what a wonderful new life we have!

So... there in lies why we do ttwd.   I don't want history to repeat its self.  I don't want to see myself in my sixties, unhappy,because I have an empty nest with a person I don't like, like my parents.   I'm looking forward to an empty nest when I can spend some quality alone time with my HOH as he guides us through life.

Everybody likes a new toy!

I woke up this morning to S playing with my nipples, which is so very arousing, and being poked in the back by my guys manhood.  It was only 30 minutes before I had to get up which is wonderful timing since I have actually been taken in the middle of the night a lot lately.  Not that I mind... I love it... it reminds me just how new our life together is with ttwd!

Hubby and I rarely ever had sex "before".  Sad but true.  I really don't know why or how we got to that point because we were little bunnies when we were dating.  I know I have posted about this before but it just astounds me that our life is so different with a different mindset.  I know it wasn't all my fault because it takes two to make a marriage and it takes two to break one.  I know, I know... you can't help if a person goes out side of a marriage for what they aren't getting at home.... or can you?

I'm about to admit a huge (to me) "sin" that I committed very early in our marriage.  First, I want to put out a disclaimer that my hubby suffers from depression and at this time wasn't medicated.... and also was only a year or so out of his first marriage and was missing his kids and blah, blah, blah..... we had a lot of crappy stuff going on in life at the time... but it was absolutely no excuse on either side, just wanting to set the scene so you know where we were.  It was 15 years ago and we had just gotten my mom and dads old computer.  They upgraded and we got their old one.  We had internet access for the first and it was very cool.  Mom and I found out how to chat in a chat room so that we didn't have to pay for long distance as it was very expensive back then. It all started out very innocently, as I'm sure it usually does.  Mom and I were in a chat room and we were not only chatting with each other but also with others.  Just chit chatting with other people in different parts of the world and we just amazed at this new thing we were able to enjoy.  Then I started going to our chat room when mom wasn't there and chatting with  my new friends.  Then it happened.  I started having a cyber affair. The guy I was talking to was wonderful.  He was everything that I was craving in real life.  I wanted attention. I needed someone to talk to and to just interact with.  I needed companionship and passion.  Now I know that what I did was wrong... and I'm really not trying to excuse why I did what I did.... I'm just trying to get past it and understand it so it won't ever happen again!

Tru was his name and he was from Texas.  He was way into golf and loved Tiger Woods before he was "great".  He also had a wife who went by Pumkin.  We were all three friends.  They were the nicest people I had met in a long time.... I feel terrible that I crossed a line with Tru that I shouldn't have.  I know a lot of people wouldn't consider talking about sex with a person online an "affair".... and it may not have been to him... but it was to Pumkin... and it was to me.  Us ladies put our hearts and souls into what we do, and I guess I was self medicating my broken heart by getting affection and attention from a place I shouldn't have been.  My poor husband was as miserable as I was and instead of holding onto each other and treading water together, we grew further and further apart.  Very sad... it makes me so sad for those people who look like strangers from where we are now.

In my mind and heart, I had an affair.  I was feeling things that only my husband should have had access to.  In my opinion we were talking about things that only a man and woman in an exclusive relationship should.  My heart went pitter patter.... my face would get flushed.... other parts would gush....all things I so was missing in my real life.  The deeper into this "relationship" I got, the further I got from S.  I got to the point that I didn't want to be married to him any longer.  We didn't have any kids... hadn't been married that long really... and I was gonna cut my losses and I left S.  I went to my parents house for a "visit".  S didn't know at that point that I was leaving.  He didn't know about Tru, who I had kicked around, in my confused little head, meeting in real life.  We never met outside of cyberspace, and I'm very glad that I at least had that much sense!  While gone on my visit to my parents, S got onto the computer and found everything.  I had e mails that Tru and I had sent back and forth.  I never deleted anything and didn't have anything in the computer locked up.  Almost like I wanted to get caught.  And caught I was!  S called me wanted to know who this person was... and showed emotion for the first time in what seemed like forever.  He wanted to know all the W's.  We yelled, cried, we accused, we were angry... we ran the entire gammet of emotions.  It was the first time in a long time that either of us fought for us..... I'm so proud to say that we worked through it!  I'm so glad we stayed together.

This all happened in the first year of our marriage.  We have been through a lot even after that, none of it as horrific as this.  But none of it as wonderful as this past year since we have started ttwd!!  During those years I said no a lot.  Actually, I don't think I said no so much as "how about tomorrow night" which would never come.  I would also say "How about I do you cuz I'm tired".   I had a whole list of reasons not to be intimate with S.  So sad... I have no more words for it.  Since ttwd... I'm proud to say I have not denied my husband even once!!  We have hot sex nearly every night and then sometimes he wakes me up and am always ready to by taken by my man.  I don't get as many spankings as I would like due to the fact that we have young kids still at home and don't have the privacy we would like, but the mindset is actually the most important part for us right now.  He is getting used to stepping up and making decisions.... and I'm getting used to following, weather I want to or not!!! :o)

Since the whole cyber thing... I have promised full disclosure in everything in my life... especially my computer.  I live my life as if S were looking over my shoulder.  He has access to this blog.  He hasn't ever read it.... but he is welcomed to..... and I would actually like him to.  I know this post could hurt his feelings but I hope it doesn't.  I want him to know that he is my one true love and that I could never want anyone else!  I also want him to know that I am very sorry for my part in the 15 years that we had prior to ttwd and to let him know that I'm am always anticipating my next spanking... and then the ever so hot sex after!! I love you S!  You can play with me anytime!!  *huge grin*