Tuesday, August 9, 2011

What a reminder...

I think a lot of us who are trying to be submissive in our marriages have a love/hate relationship with maintenance spankings.  I, for one, have always thought that "maintenance" spankings would be important in a Dd relationship.  Who likes to be spanked for no reason, right?  I don't like being spanked, but I love the feelings that we both get from them.

When I brought up ttwd to S, way back when, he said it all sounded good... that he was up for it and was  interested in it... but he said that I don't really screw up that much and he had a problem with spanking  when I didn't do anything wrong.  I guess I understand where he is coming from... but I told him that I was less likely to "brat" if I had regular spankings, as a reminder of who is exactly in charge!  This did make sense to him, and he agreed to do it... but it has never been done... till last night.  Be careful what you ask for... you just might get it!  Oowee...

I am a good girl.  I try very hard to please S.  I love the way our marriage has taken a completely new direction. I am still the house "manager"... I run it.  I run my business that I have in our home and for the most part nothing has really changed since we started Dd.  What has changed is our mindset.  Every once in a while he will make a comment about something that he thinks should be different in our home.  Now he has always been the type of person that doesn't have much to say...  but is beginning to voice his opinion more and more every day.  When he "suggests" something, I really take it to heart and think it through and implement his suggestion.  I keep reminding myself "he is the boss"... and I tell him that too... even call him that kiddingly sometimes too! This seems to help him remember that he is in charge, and I think he is enjoying it more and more everyday!!

Last night before my "reminder", he made sure that I knew what time he wanted me to wrap things up so that I could be to bed on time.  I knew what was coming because we discussed it the night before... we decided that every Monday night he would remind me who is boss... until that doesn't work for us and then we would adapt as necessary.  I have to say it was quite a turn on, him telling me when I needed to head to bed... ask if I had taken my medication for the evening... that sort of thing.  Now do understand that I don't always need to be micromanaged but I like it every once in a while...  especially since this isn't his nature... I know he is guiding me, and I am obliged to make him feel like the HOH that I want him to be!

Anyway... maintenance.. I have to agree, I don't like the name.  We call them "reminders".    It wasn't intense.. not horrible... I didn't feel like I was being punished.  I felt loved, submissive, guided.  After, he held me, rubbed me and told me how much he loves me.  He treats me so much better than he "used to".  I will take a spanking every day if it means that we don't go back to how we used to treat each other.


  1. It's sounds like things are working great! I'm glad for you! Sara

  2. We have not started maintenance mostly because I do not want to but he is currently planning to change that. I'm don't want to but I have to trust that he knows what we both need. I like reading how it works for everyone.

  3. Maintenance is great. It means, a) I don't have to tick him off when I feel I need a spanking, 2) He can nip any snippiness in the bud, if I am starting to act up but not bad enough for a punishment, 3) it serves to remind me regularly that he is the boss, (heehee, I have a tendency to forget sometimes!) 4) he can adjust the severity/longevity of the spanking to account for any misdemeanours, and to ward off attitude, and to reward me for being extra good, and 5) It is way sexy when you KNOW the date and time are approaching for a spanking... the apprehension and anticipation is exciting... in a way that a "punishment" or a "good girl" are not...simply because with a maintenance, you don't know how it will be....