Monday, August 15, 2011

To Tell or Not To Tell...

I've been thinking this weekend on this blog... and am not really sure if I'm ready to tackle such a thought... but I'm a planner.  I'm not OCD in the thought that I have to have every minute of every day... but I like to have some sort of idea what my opinion is on stuff... you know...

Anyway... I'm wondering about our kids.  Is there a time when we will share our lifestyle with our kids?  I'm not talking about what goes on in our bedroom behind closed doors.  I'm talking about... do we ever tell them about Dd?  I wish I had known about this lifestyle when I was younger... don't know what I would have thought had my parents told me about it.

We do teach our children to be respectful of elders.  We do teach our son to treat girls well... I plan to teach my daughter to be submissive to her husband by the way I act towards her daddy.   S is teaching the boy how to treat future ladies in his life by how he treats me.  I know that we teach our kids by example.... I don't plan to tell my kids about ttwd right now when they are 8 and 13.... but has anyone come to the point where you have told your children about ttwd?  Or friends... anyone ever see someone struggling like we used to, floundering around like a carp on land before we found Dd?

I have a very close friend (vanilla) who I would love to share this information with.  Not that I necessarily think she and hers is struggling... I just wonder sometimes how she might react.  I think she would take it well because I have told her a couple of things about my past that I haven't ever shared with anyone else but S.

What are your thoughts??  I'd really appreciate them!

Have a great day!


  1. I feel that children are not emotionally equipped to handle certain information. They are fiercely protective of their mothers. They want and need to think their world is calm and makes sense. For some children, the idea (or heaven forbid..the image) of their father "hitting" their mother would make an IMPACT, perhaps too jarring to ever forget.

    Now, on to friends. I have told two of my closest friends. There are several posts about it on my blog. One is called My Favorite Lurker, and it links to another earlier one. I am glad I told them :)

  2. Stormy... I totally get what you are saying... and I guess I should have been clearer when I said "children". I'm meant adult children. I meant married children. I also agree with your friend Elle, I want my son to love his wife with all his heart.. to love her like Christ loved the church... and I want my daughter to marry a man who deserves her submission.

    I wasn't speaking of screwing up my kids... and would never encourage anyone else to either. I thank you for your comment to make sure that got said.

    Your friend Elle seems to be an amazing person! We should all have friends like her! I have a best friend in real life that would probably have absolutely no problem with our new life style, especially since she knows about all the differences in our life... one of these days I'll work up enough nerve to share with her why!

  3. I would not share information on your lifestyle with your children. Having said that, if they overhear you being spanked, you'll have to be prepared with some sort of explanation - real or fabricated.

    As for telling friends, remember that once you tell, you can't untell. I would be extremely cautious about that. Just my opinion, but personally I won't be telling anyone what Ron and I get up to.


  4. My private life is private!!! I would not tell any of my friends about ttwd. I would be shocked if a friend told ME that THEY practised it....dead embarrassed, and would never look at them the same way again...because I don't want pictures in my head of friends, changed into different ones. Maybe I am weird.
    But, I have met a couple in real life, that I found on the blogs...thats fine, because that is how we met, and so the image of them was always a dd one... can you understand that?

    As for telling the kids, even as adult kids, trust me, it would gross them out. Kids don't even like to think that their parents actually have sex, teenagers cringe when they see their parents kiss, or hold hands, or cuddle! My 16year old, when seeing her dad (now my ex) snuggle up to me in the kitchen as I was cooking dinner, said, "oh, dad!! Get a ROOM!!!" and departed the kitchen real quick!
    SO my advice would be, an overwhelming,


  5. I am a submissive wife involved in a DD relationship. But, I don't want to raise my daughter to believe that she needs to be submissive to any man. If she finds herself feeling inclined to do so, or she feels that thats what God would like from her, then more power to her.

    I am also grown up woman with a great relationship with my mother, but I don't want to know about what my mother and father do behind closed doors. I am very close with my mother and we can talk about sex, but I still don't want to know if she is submissive to my dad - thats her choice and I am not even interested.