Friday, August 19, 2011

Working My Behind Off!

You know... there are so many of us out here in Dd blogland that don't want to cause our men any "discomfort" or put them out in any way. We work our behinds off (yes, pun intended) to "fix" ourselves. We want to bring ourselves up to par for our guys. We want to make ourselves "worthy" of their love. I think these are honorable goals...

I, for one, have completely overhauled my attitude. He is the Man. I want him to be nothing but happy and impressed with me. I try my hardest to not cause him grief. I want his time at home with me and the kids to be enjoyable. I want him to look forward to coming home. My mom used to gripe and complain at my dad, no wonder he didn't want to come home... and then it wasn't pleasant when he did.. for any of us.

No one made me change my mindset that I now have for my husband thanks to Dd, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I did this willingly and without force. As a matter of fact, I am the one who took it to him and asked if he was interested. I'm not upset at the time of the writing.... I'm stating facts that most of us can agree that they too have witnessed in themselves.

If I'm upset with anyone, I'm irritated at myself. Now I know that it takes as much effort for some men to step up and be the boss as it does for us ladies to submit to them. I'm kinda yanked at myself for not realizing that the bridge between us, in this process, is asking him for help in our transformation. I knew this... but a person forgets and then has to be reminded, buy fellow bloggers... like Sara and Hermione... thank you ladies.

We went to bed last night, my heart was in it, always is, but I just couldn't get my mind into it. I wasn't mad... but I knew we had to talk, I just didn't know how I was going to bring it up. He did end up getting my mind and body into "it". We laid there after. Small talk is a little irritating when you have something on your mind.

Turn over, I'll scratch your back.

How come.

Cuz that's what I do...

Oh, ok... yeah, you do don't you.. Kissed me goodnight and turned over.

So, I need to talk to you about something.

What did I do?

Nothing... there doesn't always have to have guilt attached to a conversation, does there?

Oh, no I guess not... what's up?

I don't know how else to tell you this... but I need my maintenance spankings that we talked about to keep my mind wrapped around this thing...(attempted to go on and on with all these reasons)

(interupting) Ok.

What do you mean ok?

I mean ok... the only problem I have is logistics. Where and when so we don't get caught... I'd love to spank you, I just don't know when and where.

Oh.. so you love spanking me... it's not a chore?

Hell no... I love it... just don't know how to work it out with the kids so we don't have an audience.

HHmmm... you mean you don't hate spanking me?? We can work out the details... I just thought it was work for you and I didn't want you to hate it... I thought it was a chore for you

(turning over and taking me into his arms) Oh baby, I never meant to make you feel like that...(fell asleep)

I don't know why I have to make it so much work. There were so much sweat and tears that went into the introduction of that conversation, I really should have lost like 5lbs!! LOL


  1. "I don't know why I have to make it so much work." Why? Because you feel vulnerable as all get out thinking you might have been alone in this thing. Now that you know you're not, (and do decide to take him at his word bc he's a guy and they are generally pretty straight forward) you know he needs some help in arranging and plotting around the kids. Moms are practiced at that...Dad's not so much, I am so glad you took the risk! Sara

  2. Sara... LOL you are so right that us moms are used to plotting around the kids! Another thing that I found out about men a long time ago, and I always share with every woman I can because it's invaluable information... If you look over at your sweetie and you ask him what he's thinking about, he says, Oh, nothin'... HE IS SERIOUS!! LOL We women don't ever think of "nothin" Our minds are constantly going...

    Thanks again Sara, for all your insight!

  3. Mikki, good for you guys..such important communication.

    Now ours would be the opposite "Baby, I think we should try maintenance on you." " Hell no! Next question?" LOL.

  4. I'm so glad it worked out for you after all that sweat :-) L

  5. Hi Mikki,

    One great lesson I have learned about relationships is that most men are pretty simple. We sometimes attribute to them all sorts of complex motives and plans, but it's often just a reflection of our own worries or insecurities.

    As Sara points out, guys will tell us what they think (though occasionally in unfiltered form). We just need to ask. I'm glad you asked! :)


  6. @Stormy... LOL You are always so funny! You know... it's a funny thing... the spankings somehow make me vulnerable and out of "control", I am in control of everything... run my own business, mom of two, run the the bills... Blah, blah, blah. I need to be vulnerable to him. It sounds so stupid to say out loud.

    @ Anonymous.. thanks... and I do hate to sweat! :o)

    @ Bonnie I'm so glad I have wise ladies like you and Sara and Stormy to follow behind (pun not intended but how cool was that! LOL).

    You are so right... men really are simple... it's just so hard to remember sometimes!!

  7. AS usual, Bonnie gives good advice. Always good to ask.


  8. Hi Mikki - I'm so happy you communicated your desire for maintenance spanking and that it will all work out! The logistics will work out - u's moms are good at "the details!".

    Can't wait to check out your blog!

    Take care, Sky